Just a few of the things ALL girls do ALL the time for no real reason
International Crying Selfie Day!
by Katie Way
Not to go all relatable content on you guys, but there are a few things that every single girl on the planet has done at one time or another. There's no right way to be a girl — but I can almost guarantee that your Girl Experience has included most of this shit.
Have we all been socialized to be like this? Is this list the secret connective tissue that binds the essence of modern girlhood and makes us what we are? Why the fuck has every girl I know considered getting bangs?
You stalk yourself on Instagram
Maybe you wanna see what other people are seeing when they look at your profile… or maybe you're just a self-obsessed bitch! All I know is I killed an hour laughing at my old Finsta posts last night, so what the fuck do I know.
You lip-sync on Snapchat from time to time
since the lip sync snaps are slowly coming back can the workout ones do so too
— daria (@whydols) March 8, 2018
King Kylie taught me!
You text your friends 6 identical selfies and make them pick the best one
And then you demand they all like it the second you post it.
You sit around in a towel for 348302959 hours post-shower
Is it just me or do you also lounge in your towel and be on ur phone for hours after your shower?
— Little Miss Khan (@nurameerakhan) March 2, 2018
Will I ever put on clothes again? Or will I be this dewy and warm forever?
Your car is an absolute wreck inside
I don't know why, but all girls have a cute, neat bedroom and but car interiors that look like when the Titanic cracked in half.
You differentiate between a shower and a 'body shower'
Sorry, I can't wash my hair right now, I don't have 6 free hours.
You love Drake
We came when our self-esteem was lower and we could still put up with a guy telling us he was the best he'd ever had without rolling our eyes, but we stay for the endless fountain of Instagram captions.
You mobilize your friends for internet warfare
If a rando comments something flirty on your man's picture, that comment is about to get 8 likes in eerie, rapid succession. We see you seeing us see you see him!
You demand that unflattering pictures of us are deleted on SIGHT
They never are — catch that shit plastered on my Facebook feed on every jokey birthday post — but it doesn't hurt to ask.
You walk around naked when you're home alone
I never feel myself more than when my roommates are gone and I can roam around my apartment the way God intended — naked, kind of high and listening to a podcast about murder.
You cannot, for the fucking life of you, find a picture where your crush looks hot
I swear to fucking GOD he's cute, but every single picture on his page is a close-cropped prom photo from 2012.
You have asked your friends if you should get bangs
And they've asked you the same thing! But the answer is no. It's almost always no.
You stare yourself down in the rearview mirror no matter where you're sitting in the car
I just wanna know what I look like when I'm being whisked around in this 2:30 a.m. Lyft Line, okay?!
When you have acrylics, you tap the shit out of your phone screen
A good set of nails intensifies drama by at least 200 percent. That's just science.
You say you're on dating apps 'as a joke'
I forgot tinder was real until I swiped right on someone in my class as a joke and then we matched and they messaged me so let’s see how awkward class will be today lmaoooo
— Dakota Janiece ♡ (@dakotajaniece) March 8, 2018
Is that Tuesday night bootycall a joke, too?
You ask your friends if you can have their stuff when they die
I've basically written my group chat into my will at this point, and have promised away my Instapumps, my cool leather jacket and my boyfriend upon my untimely death.
You ask 'are we dressing nice?' and 'what are you guys wearing?' before you start assembling your look
I don't wanna be the dumbass who wears leggings on a bodycon night, you feel me?
You say you 'never' drink soda while you chug a rum & coke
“I don’t drink soda”
*orders 3 AMFs & 2 vodka-red bulls*
— nick (@nikluth) March 8, 2018
I see you, bitch! Because I am you.
You lend and borrow clothes so much your wardrobe is basically Rent-the-Runway
If everything on the runway was from Zara and Madewell, that is.
You've recorded yourself singing because you secretly think you're a really good singer
Spoiler alert: you aren't, and you deleted that shit immediately.
You fix technology by turning it off and turning it back on
Yeah, yeah, Women in STEM, but c'mon — I got a degree in creative writing. The most I can do when my laptop is fucking up is turn that shit off and then pray it turns back on again.
'Smell this candle!'
For every candle that exists, there is also a girl asking you to smell it and then sticking it in your face so you have to. Mmm, gardenias!
You make friends in the bar bathroom on the regular
— babe (@babedotnet) March 8, 2018
And then you follow each other on Instagram until the end of time. Always good to get that extra like, right?
You take pictures of yourself while you're crying
Why is this like, Girl Law? I don't send them to anyone! I don't make cool feminist art with them! I just leave them sitting in my camera roll and pray that nobody swipes to them when I'm showing off my memes.
You say 'that's crazy' to everything, even when it's not that crazy
I’m from New York where “that’s crazy” means I did not listen to anything you said lmao
— big al (@10Alan99) March 6, 2018
"I had blueberry yogurt and cashews for lunch today." "Oh my god, that's crazy."
You ask if people would still love you IF…
The other day I asked a guy if he would still hook up with me if I turned into the Black Swan from Black Swan. He said no, but my friends said that was fucked up of him to say.
We asked girls for their first date horror stories and they’ll make you never want to date again
Fuck Tinder, I’m trying to not get murdered
by Una Dabiero
There are two types of people in this world: Those who are serial daters and those who are the one-single-date-then-dump-them types. Me personally? I'm a serial dater. Sure, first dates and new loves may be exciting. But they're also INCREDIBLY scary. You have no idea if this guy you met on Bumble is Prince Charming…
This girl drinks her dog’s piss to ‘completely cure’ her acne….
On today’s episode of White People Are At It Again
by Ari Bines
Look, I hate breakouts. We all do! I've currently got a small but painful zit on my fucking eye socket and I'd voluntarily give up oral sex (receiving not giving, duh) for a year for it to vanish right now. But, uh, I think I'd rather have breakouts than use this girl's all-natural (???) remedy.…
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Honestly, some days, we all hate our boyfriend. Whether he's hangry and acting like a complete asshole, or he's being annoying for no good reason, there are plenty of days when I want to block my boyfriend and never acknowledge his existence ever again. But we stick with our guys because there's something there that…