This girl posted her blowjob ‘starter pack’ and I feel sorry for the penis she’s about to encounter

Listen, I am as addicted to Twitter as anyone else in 2018. I'm always scrolling through to find the latest meme or tweeting some shit to get the sweet, sweet social satisfaction of being RT'd. But I do draw my line somewhere. If your first instinct when you leave a sex shop is to tweet your latest finds, you're either an insufferable YouTuber or a lil bit twisted. And this tweet I found about a blow job "starter pack" is definitely twisted.

@apaidone posted a beginner kit for your first time giving head… but I don't know who's letting her give advice

First of all, she suggests "gum job" teeth covers. If you're gonna be sucking him off with candy grills in your mouth, it's literally going to look and feel like a denture'd grandma is gumming him up. And when those things get wet and gooey: Absolutely disgusting for you! It'd be like giving a blow job with melted tapioca in your mouth, choking you waaay more than whatever micropenis you've made contact with this time. And you can't tell me those things taste good.

They literally look like something that you'd buy at a gas station in Ohio. That's not Ghiradelli. Those are fucking hockey mouth guards that pose as "Succulent Strawberry," but actually taste like cough syrup in a solidified form.

And like, I guess some throat numbing spray is good advice… if you're a pussy.

Of course, people dragged her for her HORRIBLE practice

But she shot back and assured everyone she was just giving (misguided) advice

I don't know Key… I'm not so sure! Just make sure your future man doesn't find any of this. No one wants to watch a football mouthguard bobbing on their dick. Just saying.

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