We asked girls for their kinkiest water sex stories, and ya’ll only need holy water from now on
Banned from a water park? Guuurrrl
by Ari Bines
It's Pisces season, and any girl who reps the water sign is sure to be feeling on top of the world this week. So in the spirit of both my star sign and obsession with The Shape of Water, I decided to ask girls how they've scored an orgasm in aquatic environments.
Ya'll need Jesus, but that's why you're my people.
wait is the guy in the shape of water actually a fish? like does she literally have sex with a fish? i haven’t seen it but i thought he was like a nature spirit or something… but…. is he a fish
— ari (@AWFULGARBAGEMAN) March 14, 2018
'I got my entire school banned from a water park'
You had one job girl—get an education. But babe reader Ellen went ahead and ruined her class' school trip all for the sake of getting some dick. "I was like 15 and I was caught on the security cameras doing 'inappropriate activities' in the hot tubs with my boyfriend at the time," she said. Ellen also admitted that there were live witnesses still in the hot tub with her and her man. "Every end of year trip, we had to go somewhere else after that," she added.
'I once had sex in a puddle outside'
Alyssa, another babe reader said her puddle pounding was creepy. "Half my booty cheek was in water and the rest of my body was out," she said. "I do NOT recommend."
I even sought out Twitter and they're hella wild!
Girls use Twitter to share their most sinful confessions to the web, and when I tell you their wet n' wild, I mean it.
Um. I kinda had sex in your bed. But it was just once. AND YOU HAD A WATER BED!
— Swagholor's Mama – Wentz Wagon Driver (@NotUrAvgHoodrat) July 1, 2016
I would probably get my ass beat if my parents found out I was getting dicked down in their bed, but at the same time, it's kind of your duty to fuck in a water bed.
'The water drained my pleasure fluids'
I once had sex in a swimming pool, sucked coz I was already a lil fucked and the water drained my pleasure fluids
— Sani (@WenaSani) October 24, 2014
If someone can tell me how sex in a pool can drain your pleasure fluids, that'd be great, so I can keep my cooch far from chlorine. Thanks.
This girl gave it up in a pool….while children were present
"I once had sex in a wave pool full of children. Some where even using goggles under water 😂😆😏☺️"
— Ms.Eggplant™ (@That_Eggplant) December 2, 2013
We all have our weaknesses, but damn girl, children? I personally could never scar their eyes like that, but get yours, sis.
One Twitter girl paid a big price for her swamp sex adventure
Happy 4 year anniversary to the time I had sex in a swamp and got a UTI that resisted 3 antibiotics and spread to my kidneys! pic.twitter.com/7VtPNw82m4
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) July 24, 2017
I've only ever seen a swamp when I was in Girl Scouts. While the white girls were hopping out of canoes and into the musty waters, I kept my Black ass on street-level. Now I know leaving myself out of the group activities was the best decision of my life.
This reader disobeyed her boyfriend's mom altogether
Babe reader Jenny went against her boyfriend's parents and eliminated any remaining purity he had. "They were super concerned with making sure their son didn't have sex," she started, "so we were in his pool and his mom ran to the neighbors house for like half an hour. We had sex in his pool, and then again in his garage." Kudos to her. I'm always here for doing double duty when the adults are away from their post.
'It was very public'
Babe reader Rebecca shared her experience in a hot spring. "I guess nobody saw ," she said. "It was quite nice the water was warm and steamy." I can't lie. If I wasn't so damn poor, eating ramen noodles for breakfast and could afford a trip to a hot spring, I'd be doing the same thing, girl.
This girl recounted her time at a family pool party
Emma, another babe reader, wasn't sure if her story was an adequate description of a wet sex encounter. "Does my ex fingering my bootyhole in a pool during a family July 4th party count?" She asked. "His 10-year-old brother called him out on it too." While I don't enjoy fingers in my cave, I can't imagine how little bro is holding up after witnessing that. Should we start a GoFundMe for his therapy? I'd be willing to chip in.