Meghan Markle is living EVERY little girl’s dream: Spending $125,000 on wedding trumpets
I’m so jealous!
by Katie Way
When Meghan Markle walks down the aisle on May 19, she won't just be walking towards a future as British royalty — she'll be walking towards (or in front of, I don't know the exact set-up) $125,000 worth of trumpets.
At least, that's how much they'll cost according to a projected budget by Bridebook, a British wedding planning site.
Trumpets – £90,000
please someone who is good at the economy help me budget this. my royal wedding is dying pic.twitter.com/QDHS9v3Ex5
— Cardi BTEC (@amelia_perrin) March 20, 2018
Bridebook's estimated budget also allots a little less than $154,000 for flowers, almost $70,000 for cake and a little less than $50,000 for "toilets for guests", which I guess means they're gonna cut corners when it comes to the reception dinner.
In their defense though, these cakes do look fucking lit:
For a sneak peak at what #princeharry & #meghanmarkle’s #royalwedding cake could look like, feast your eyes on these beauties from @violetcakes. #meghan met Claire when she interviewed her for her blog The Tig and loved her cakes! pic.twitter.com/kiAv5mPiiq
— Emily Andrews (@byEmilyAndrews) March 20, 2018
On a slightly more ominous note, a profile of the man who will be crafting the trumpets for the Royal Wedding says "the exact purpose for the specially-crafted instruments, silver-plated and stamped with the Royal coat of arms, was not stated, and indeed remains undisclosed."
What are you going to do with those trumpets, Harry and Meghan? What are they for, and why can't you reveal their purpose to the man who is making them?
The jury is out on how close to reality this proposed budget is — but from the looks of it, this shit is going to be lavish as hell, with an angelic — but jarring — soundtrack to match.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have BROKEN UP 😵
Love is dead
by Harry Shukman
Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have split up, according to TMZ. "Things are over romantically," said the celeb news site, citing sources close to the pair that they had broken up. Apparently it "simply was not the right time for their relationship to take off." It appears to have been an amicable breakup.Ariana and Pete…
Never forget that a frat once held a press conference to deny accusations of buttchugging
The greatest self-own of all time
by Harry Shukman
In a world of fake news and extraordinary headlines, it's hard to believe that a fraternity once held a press conference to deny allegations of buttchugging – but that's what happened exactly six years ago.After one of their brothers was rushed to hospital for boozing too hard, Pi Kappa Alpha at the University of Tennessee invited…
Avocados aren’t vegan, you absolute imbeciles
How dare you call yourself ‘conscious’
by Caroline Phinney
Avocados definitely aren't "vegan," and I'm surprised none of you knew this in the first place, since you seem to spend every waking second Googling, preaching and breathing veganism.Let me guess? You thought avocados just grew and pollinated themselves? Typical millennial mindset, if you ask me. But a new video from the BBC quiz show…