I got high and imagined Disney’s Recess as a live-action movie, and here’s who I’d cast
It’s spot on, don’t fight me.
by Ari Bines
Ever since Bella Thorne began campaigning to play Kim Possible in the live-action film, I got to thinking that maybe Disney should exploit into millennial nostalgia even further by turning all of our beloved childhood TV shows into a carefully calculated cash-grab.
Assisted by a little too much free time and a lot of Reggie (balling on a budget, you know?) I got to thinking about Recess, the
We clearly don't live in a perfect world, but if we did, I believe the adult cast would look a lil something like this:
Cameron Boyce as T.J. Detweiler
Cameron has proved his charm and scheme-oriented mind over the course his childhood acting career on Disney Channel's Jessie. My coworkers and I have been arguing if he's snackworthy (calm your tits, he's 18), so I think makes sense for T.J. to have a freckled glow-up in a 2018 reboot.
Emma Stone as Gretchen Grundler
Yeah, she's like 15 years older than everyone else on this list, but just BELIEVE! Emma Stone's played tons of low-key nerd roles now that I think about it. Her (pre-adulterer) Easy A role and playing a mad scientist's intern in The Amazing Spiderman (the one you didn't see) proves she's perfect to play the part of a genius with more socially awkward traits than Kristen Stewart.
I think the premiere episode introducing 18-year-old Gretchen would be about this redhead finally losing her V-card. Although maybe that plotline would be more suitable for an episode of Skins. Who really knows?
Maia Mitchell as Spinelli
Maia basically already plays delinquent in early seasons of The Fosters. If a live-action version of Recess got the green light, I definitely think she'd be ideal for an adult Spinelli. I love a badass bitch with a criminal record.
Alfred Enoch as Vince LaSalle
I'm obsessed with Alfred! Despite being born with that grandpa name, he put me in my feelings as token brown sugar in the Harry Potter franchise. Gryffindor's Dean is a full-grown man now and would be a great fit to play tall, athletic Vince.
I should also note that Vince in 2018 would most definitely be a popular hot bae trapping thirsty women on IG. This obviously isn't a PG casting, peeps.
Ansel Elgort as Mikey Blumberg
Ansel is pretty cute already, which is how anyone who cares about the masterpiece that is Recess would describe Mikey. If you didn't read or watch The Fault in Our Stars, get out of my sight. It's literally all the proof you need to know that Ansel is perfect to play the big old bear of a poet that is Mikey. Maybe he can do a reverse Matthew McConaughey and gain weight for the part.
Skrillex as Gus Griswald
LMAO ok now you know I was high for this one, but hear me out: I think every nerd has his day, and once Skrillex found out he could turn his laptop into a white girl magnent with his EDM, he's probably had lays for days.
And that's exactly what I see for army brat Gus Griswald in the 2018 version of the classic 90s series. He never actually gets hot, but develops enough computer knowledge to be the next famous button-pusher in the disc jockey game.
Will Poulter as Randall
Will already looks like the demon child Sid from Toy Story, so who better to play Randall in a live-action Recess film? Everyone knew a Randall in school. You know, the pain in the ass snitch who got his ass beat when teachers weren't looking? Maybe that's just the case in my hood, but you know you hated the little weasel regardless, and Will would do the character justice.
Bryan Cranston as Principal Prickly
Cranston is best known to our demo for playing a drug-dealing chemo patient on Breaking Bad, and Walter White vibes is exactly what we need for this reboot. Walter's whole under-appreciated vibe makes him a perfect fit to play pushover Prickly.
Carol Burnett as Ms. Finster
Most of you remember Ms. Burnett cracking the whip on those innocent orphan girls in Annie, making her perfectly qualified to take on slave master Finster, the iconic Recess teacher. The minute I thought about Finster, there was no doubt that the woman who brought us the only version of Ms. Hannigan anyone cares about would be ideal for Finster.
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