I’ve discovered the new One Direction (RIP), and they’re actually wayyy hotter
They’re even produced by Simon Cowell
by Una Dabiero
It's been about two years since One Direction broke up, and I'll be honest: There's been a boy band-shaped hole in my heart. Sure, they've seen success in their solo careers and they're all still incredibly hot — like, Liam is a literal Daddy. But I've been conditioned from a young age five-part male harmonies. Blame NSYNC, I guess.
Thankfully for all of us, I've found a new boy band that's going to blow everyone else out of the water. They're hot, they're talented, and they have that Gen Z fuckboy allure down. These dudes look like a mix of Logic and a Calvin Klein model, and have a hookup with Simon Cowell. Basically, I'm sold.
The new guy group is called PRETTYMUCH
They started releasing singles in 2017, making them prettynew on the scene.
They've already performed on the UK's X Factor, MTV, and Good Morning America
This makes them perfectly primed to get big ASAP.
You've probably heard their 2018 single 'Healthy'
This is a pop HIT — it's like a mix between fun hip-hop and "You Don't Know You're Beautiful."
Or their 2017 single, 'Teacher'
But if you haven't, prepare to see them on the cover of magazines some time soon
Because they're all iGen hot — like, Insta model hot. You better decide who your crush is ASAP before Rebecca thinks you're copying her, despite babe dot net showing you these guys first.
First, there's Nick
He's 20, so I'm allowed to say I would sit on that SO FAST.
Then there's Austin
The 20-year-old is a little too alt for me, but I see it if you're into guys who simultaneously enjoy anime and long-boarding.
There's 19-year-old Edwin
Who looks like he literally has 30 girls on read and a contract with Gucci.
And there's Zion
He's only 18, so I'll just say: Mmmmm.
Lastly, there's 18-year-old Brandon
He cute, he cute.
Get ready, because Simon is cooking up the next gen of One Direction. Hopefully, these guys will face a better fate than MKTO (may they rest in peace.) But based on how many times I've streamed "Healthy" in the last week, I'd say they'll do just fine.