It’s only possible to be happy in a relationship if you have a lil something on the side

Face it! The cupcake phase of your relationship is coming to a close and you're beginning to take notice of all their annoying little habits that you desperately wish would stop. That's why I've declared it's in every woman's very best interest to keep every last one of their relationships open and get yourself a side piece.

I fully disrespect the comments that come at me for writing this because I know after finishing this read, you'll feel liberated knowing that you can have your cake and eat him or her too.

It's a much-needed breather from the main relationship

When you're spending all of your time with one person (minus the occasional visit to your girl gang) the sex gets dull, the compliments are tired, and you're rethinking who you are as a person.

If you decide to have something on the side, all of that changes. Sometimes hearing compliments from a different tired-eyed guy is just the thing you need to take a relationship break without unnecessary tears post that "I need space" talk.

Your side bae is sure to give you the relief you need when a fight with main bae breaks out over something as dumb as who's playing Fortnite. They can play all the games they want, but in the meantime you should pay a visit to the side piece when the main one would rather waste your time entertaining bafoonery.

Taking things too fast isn't an option in the main relationship

When bouncing between two people, you'll find it easier to manage any overwhelming feelings because your attention isn't consumed by one dipshit to take control and override your emotions.

Additionally, you'd stay true to who you are because you can't help but become more self aware when you're between your main relationship and side relationship.

Even though I was swooning over one of my exes who shared the same feelings, he never was able to put me first. So instead of crying over spilt milk, I made sure to keep someone else in my back pocket which lessened the blow of my deteriorating feelings for my ex. You'll become less guilty and more appreciative for the distraction. Not every relationship will bend at your will, so find two that will meet all your needs.

You're less likely to get bored of main bae

Once the cupcake phase simmers down, you're over the amazment of how hot they are and your shock that they'd actually be interested in dating you is over — so now what? You take your hot ass back to the single-sex mindset you had before and get back to hoeing for your side dude.

Somewhere in the back of your yearbook reads a message from a classmate imploring you to not ever change, but who hasn't completely lost sight of themselves in a relationship? You fall so deep into a love-spiral that you've kicked your friends' opinions to the curb. Keeping that extra special someone around only reminds you to stay true to yourself.

And let's not forget that having something new will only improve your sexual experience

Why do all the extra work of finding a bunch of candidates to hoe around with and risk catching something when you can just find one extra person? Side bae won't try to convince you that what you're doing is wrong. It's not like you and your main are married, so why not experiment with just one other person?

People are so stuck in society's expectation of monogamy that we totally ignore how natural it is to spend your youthful years exploring. You know, before you break a hip!

Your side bae is the person you want to try all the real nasty things with if you wouldn't ask your main bae to try for fear of judgment. Side bae is your 7-day free trial before you have to give up your mental and emotional payment to side bae.

Ultimately, you get something from both partners. And when it's finally time to drop them both, you've gathered all that sexucation and you'll be on your merry way to the next round of idiot partners. Happy hunting!

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● I’ve cheated on every guy I’ve ever dated, and I don’t feel even a little bit sorry

● I’ve decided these celebrities should be together because they seem like they’d just WORK

@aribines