Saturn retrograde is the Mercury retrograde of your nightmares — here’s what that means for your sign

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Saturn retrograde is the Mercury retrograde of your nightmares — here’s what that means for your sign

Karma is a bitch

by The Tab

Today, Chiron will enter Aries as Saturn begins its retrograde. But this one is nothing like a Mercury retrograde — it's much worse.

For a few, this Saturn retrograde in Capricorn will be good, but most of us will be facing a Karmic lesson in treating the people around you right. Because Saturn is the Lord of Karma, this retrograde is a period in which the scales will even out.

It won't be all bad for those of us who have acted out, but at some point during the five-month retrograde, we will be taught a lesson.

But if we've teased or verbally abused at all recently, this 2018 Saturn retrograde will be particularly draining.

Aries

For you, the Saturn retrograde won't be bad, but there are a few things you can do this week to prepare yourself for the impending storm. The most important thing being: seeking, and then trusting professional advice. Whether that's a therapist, boss or teacher, zero in on someone you can trust and then follow their advice without thinking twice. Second-guessing during this time will only slow you down.

Taurus

Rather than thinking of this retrograde as a buzz-kill, think of it as an opportunity to reassess (or just assess) your least favorite things about yourself — and then change them. If you lash out easily or don't know how to hold your tongue, you may finally get a taste of your own medicine. But the retrograde isn't permanent, and can change over time as long as you change with it. So what'll it be, bull? Your typical stubborn ways? Or a few small steps to a better life? The choice is yours, and it begins now.

Gemini

Ah, my two-faced twins. I have some bad news: this retrograde will not be the easiest on your sign, but that doesn't mean it won't be easy on you in particular. As a Gemini, you need to work twice as hard to be seen as half as loyal. But if you've been doing that, it means you should get to enjoy twice the good Karma. If you haven't, it's not too late. Even in the darkness, light can still be cast. Go out there and illuminate.

Cancer

Everything that goes up must come down — or in your case, every stinging word that's said must be said back. Because you're more closed off than other signs, you often say things to protect yourself. But not everybody knows it's a defense mechanism, and some take it as a serious offense. The best thing you can do at the beginning of this retrograde is make amends for things you've said recently. You can't force anyone to accept your apology, but Saturn isn't judging them, it's is judging you.

Leo

Similar to your Aries fire twin, this retrograde will not be particularly rough on you. Fire signs can sting but you're also known for moving forward, quick to make peace with enemies from your past. Because of this, there are not too many grudges held against you — but the ones that are being held could be fatal. You know exactly who I'm talking about. Go to them and make amends, or it'll be your head on the line.

Virgo

Because Saturn is a slower-moving planet, there will be far less confusion associated with this retrograde than with previous motions. You're such an analytical sign, any confusion stresses you out. That means this retrograde will be less about karma for you and more about finding ways to incorporate balance into your life. Try it with people first. Find ways to be friends with people but ask for space, find ways to date people without becoming dependent, and find ways to tell someone they're upsetting you without cutting them out.

Libra

My balanced friend, you're in luck! This retrograde will be nothing but positive for you, unless you've been particularly bad recently. You'll still need to take it slow, though. Even if it's not stressing you, retrogrades are taxing on everyone and the last retrograde in Mercury nearly killed you. Spend time resting in the coming months. Visit home from time to time, don't force yourself to stay out until 3 a.m. just because your friends are, and listen to your body when it tells you no. Everyone else is jealous of you right now.

Scorpio

Saturn wants to help you, but only can if you let it. Nothing about retrogrades are set in stone, and that's the best and worst thing about them. Self-awareness is the most important thing you can work on at this time — and with a sign like yours, it's something you'd benefit from working on anyway. Just because you didn't think you offended someone when you said something (or just because you think that argument you got in was justified) doesn't mean it was. Now, with space between you and it, look at it again. Could you benefit from making amends?

Sagittarius

Ah, my favorite centaur. You're looking a long few months in the eye, but there are things you can do to shorten them. You're always searching for the truth — which is a noble cause — but it clouds your mind from reality. You leave projects unfinished, and you leave people behind without apology. What can you do to make those around you feel secure? Because if they don't, they could be sending bad Karma your way.

Capricorn

Saturn is like that friend at the bar who suggests you don't need another drink, hinting you might want to get an Uber soon. It's infamous for keeping the signs in check and when it comes to your sign, that'll be its main goal. So it'll be less about karma and more about learning your limits. Know when it's time to leave the party, know when you should cook instead of ordering in for the 500th time, and know when to turn your phone off and stop texting him. Good luck, my little sea-goat.

Aquarius

I know crossroads when I see them, and you are at a crossroad. This retrograde doesn't know which way to swing you, which means you have the power to make the choice…but you have to make it soon. Will you receive five months of bad karma? Or will you go out of you way to receive five months of good? Smile more than usual, ask people about themselves before talking about yourself, and write down tiny things about people to remember them. Little things add up to mean the most.

Pisces

Phew, this retrograde will not be harsh on you at all, tiny fish! Maybe because it knows Mercury took no mercy on you, but for once, you're getting the break. This retrograde will actually open a lot of doors in your life. It'll bring new people, new food, new travel and new experiences to you. Just remember to remain grateful for it all, because karma hates greed.

@TheTab