The ‘half-bake’ is THE spring nail trend requiring barely any polish at all
You can’t smudge this
Since spring has been reduced to nothing but a figment of our frozen imaginations, nail enthusiasts have taken it upon themselves to live life like the sun's out with the nail trend of the season — I call it "half-bake."
Spending hours deciding what nail color to stunt on your friends are over, and barely-there, crystal-clear polish is all the rage.
Half-bakes embrace geometry
Nowadays, we're putting natural nails on a pedestal and catty claws are on the back burner. A lot of half-baked nails are barely painted with a full coat of color, and the main focus is how clean your nail beds appear to be. If they're not shining bright, set up an appointment to cut those cuticles down.
Half-baked florals use real flowers
Some half-baked nails use real live hydrangeas, lilies and other flowers to dress up their digits. While the nail-obsessed are throwing down that extra shmoney to get a fill-in on their old set of acrylic, the half-bake look is what's saving us girls and gays the money for another drink at happy hour.
And some half-baked nails use one sweep of polish
This nail trend will surly come in handy when your younger sibling starts getting into vanity and narcissism, stealing and staining your carpets with your favorite blush pink O.P.I. shade. It also doesn't hurt that if you're an absolute klutz and suck at painting nails, you literally cannot fuck up painting your dominant hand.
But the memorable half-bakes are bedazzled to blind you
The key to a great half-bake is the studs and stones bringing the nail trend to life. Nothing can really top glitter and gold in my book, so wipe your nails clean and throw some 99 cent glitz on that bitch, and call it a day.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
● Beware of this amazing new Insta thirst-trap that seems innocent, but has your man mesmerized right now
● The click-clacking thirst trap has little to do with nails and everything to do with sex
Did you really think Warren Buffett was tweeting inspirational advice for teens?
Smart grind always pays off
by Harry Shukman
Warren Buffett, the billionare investor with a face like a dangly ballsack, is not dispensing advice for locals. And yet, people being people, they have fallen for a fake Warren Buffett account that tweets vanilla platitudes meant to inspire the extremely basic: Unless you're a total dunce and didn't spot that Warren Buffett has a…
Enough imagining dead celebrities in Heaven, I’m begging you
First of all, John McCain is in hell
by Amanda Ross
Death is awful, and I can't blame anyone for struggling to make sense of it. That's where the idea of an afterlife came from, right? Refusal to accept the nothingness waiting for us the moment our pulse stops? If it makes you feel better to imagine your grandma reclining on a cloud while the world…
This is how you can hide your Instagram pics without losing likes
If you’re trying to be scandalous
by Ari Bines
For those of you who are deluded into thinking you're Instagram famous with those 2,000 followers, this one's for you. While it's easier to delete Instagram pics from your grid, you may want to keep those sexy photos in an Instagram folder for a later time. Here's how to hide use your Instagram archive to…