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Grab your fine wine and your face masks, it’s TAURUS SEASON
You all are stubborn as fuck but it’s so cute
by Una Dabiero
Today is the most important day of the year. No, it's not Barack Obama's birthday or Election Day or even the anniversary of the moon landing. It's much, much more influential than that. It's the start of Taurus season.
Taurus is the best sign in the Zodiac because they're fiercely loyal and reliable. When your life is fucking falling apart, Taurus will pick up all the pieces, glue them back together, then give you your favorite food and a warm hug. They're just that good.
We love our Taurus friends even though they're so fucking stubborn they'd rather throw an entire friendship away than admit they're wrong. They can't help that their skull is so…fucking…thick. Sometimes they break down when something doesn't go to plan, but it's only because they put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect. And we love them for the amount of effort they put into everything. These people throw the best birthday parties. They'll splurge on you in a second.
Tauruses are devoted, reliable, and luxurious. They're the type of people we all wish we could be. They're killing every part of their lives, and they give the BEST advice. Like, if they tell you to dump your boyfriend, you know they're right. Then, they'll buy you a three-tier chocolate cake and fine wine afterwards, because they love giving their people the finer things in life.
And if you need help working through a cryptic message from your crush, Taurus will make you a Powerpoint analyzing every period and comma. They're that intensely in friend-love with you.
Happy Taurus season to our silly little bulls! Spend as much moolah as you want on your birthday, but don't get too drunk and reveal the grudges you've been keeping for YEARS to everyone. And don't act like you don't do that, you stubborn little bitch. Xoxoxoxo
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