Your phone’s camera roll reveals exactly how you are in a relationship
We can read your smartphone all too well
by Ari Bines
We snap pics that will expire within hours and publish (and then un-publish) pics that don't meet the likes quota, but what of the photos that remain in our camera roll never destined to see the light of Instagram?
Breaking things down for you as always, this is what your camera roll reveals about you, how you party and who you are in a relationship. Ya'll ain't ready, but here goes nothing:
Personality: You’re caring and have a very wholesome heart. You never like to be involved in your friends' drama so you remain the advice-giver and the one who picks up the pieces afterwards. You're very paranoid and you'll even carry a knife around in your back pocket, but know in your heart of hearts that you'd never use it on anyone. You're just too pure.
Party lifestyle: Chances are you don’t hit the dancefloor hard, preferring remain on the sidelines in the VIP section. Once all the fun and games are over, it's time for you to play designated driver or the role of mommy. You’re the one your friends seek out when they’re utterly smashed to the point of blacking out and the rest of your night is spent holding drinks and hair back.
In a relationship: More often than not, you’re pretty laid back in relationships. It’s almost impossible for you to be the bad guy because you enjoy catering to your honey in bed. You’re the first to initiate sex and chances are, you hope to be a housewife when you're all grown up.
Personality: You’re too busy living your best life. A lot of photos are of you because you’re okay with having no friends and being a loner. You have a very fun and outgoing personality, but not many people understand your unpopular opinions — so you keep your circle small. So small, in fact, a semicircle is more likely to describe the size of your squad because you hate to keep judgers around you.
Party lifestyle: You will literally dance with a cement wall before seeking out a dude’s hard-on to grind upon. Your go-to drink at the club is a gin and tonic because it's strong but impossible to fuck up. However many glasses of G & T you downed, though, you’re not one to get drunk. You get nice or tipsy, but never to the point of forgetting what happened.
Who you are in the relationship: Because you’re very picky about which of your hundreds of selfies to post, you can never let go of arguments. If you fight with your significant other, they better be prepared t argue about it for years.
Nothing But Nudes
Personality: The world is your oyster and you’re always looking for your next big adventure. You’re brave, bold as well as bad and boujie. Courage might as well be your middle name because if anyone were to dare you to streak, you’d already be removing your bra before they finished speaking. In all honesty, you just don’t give a fuck.
Party lifestyle: Your idea of partying means going off in the club. Grabbing the first hot guy or gal you see to bump and grind on is your night out ritual. Your drink of choice is probably a tequila sunrise because it's just like you — sweet at first but if anyone comes at you foul, you’re ready to square up.
Who you are in a relationship: You’re looking for something out of a Nicholas Sparks movie because you fall hard and fast. You’ll only give it up when they’ve been on their absolute best behavior. You have trust issues but wear your heart on your sleeve. When you do find that special person, they’ll be in good hands because you treat your relationships like a marriage.
Landscape, architecture, and food pics
Personality: Obviously, you’re not a homebody whole stays in to watch reruns of Summerland. It’s apparent you like to get out and explore new things, and you’ve obviously got a job since you’re able to afford to attend that many events with your friends — and you’re most definitely a people person who could work the room at any networking event.
Party lifestyle: You’re not much of a partier who prefers wholesome house parties to a club. However, your drink of choice is anything in a red cup and that means you're trashed almost every day of the week. You go so hard, you’ll even pop a bottle of Scotch in the morning because you know this life is the only one you'll ever get. What do we really need a liver for, anyway?
Who you are in a relationship: Sorry, girl. You’re most likely the crazy one and it's your fault they walk out on you during fights. Sometimes, you feel as though people are holding you back.
A shit-ton of screenshots
Personality: One of the hardest things to find in life are people you can trust — and you're one of the few who fits this description. Anytime there's drama to be sorted, you usually come prepared to Nancy Drew your bestie's text thread and answer as them. You know how to dig for receipts, sleuthing just comes naturally to you.
Party lifestyle: Every now and then you'll go out but you prefer to stay indoors and dance drunkenly in your own room. You drink vodka from a flask and you'll carry it with you the next morning to class just in case your professors decides to try you.
Who you are in a relationship: Your relationships are the furthest thing from steady because you're a revolving door—in and out. Nothing has lasted more than a month. Swiping through Tinder has become one of your favorite past times. If you had to be identified as one of the Sex and the City girls, Samantha is your soul sister.
Personality: You're life is always in disarray. I'm willing to bet that your car is an absolute wreck right now.
Party lifestyle: Raves and rooftops are traditionally your move because they're the perfect environment for your reckless behavior. Drinking isn't really your style — you're all about blunts.
Who you are in a relationship: Because you're all over the place, guys have always gravitated towards you. Dudes like to scoop you up because they think you're playing hard to get, but you're really just trying to keep it together. Anyone you've ever dated is aware of your dirty habits, but that's what makes the sex great in the relationship. You may fight everyday with your bae, but the makeup sex is mind-blowing.
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