I bought a haunted doll and she straight-up visited my dreams and moved when I wasn’t looking

I love spooky shit. I've dabbled with some witchcraft on babe.net, I know my birth chart better than I know most of the people in my life, and I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube to fall asleep at night. Y'all should've known I was going to fuck with ghosts next. A few weeks ago, I was reading a feature on Vice that really straddled the line. It was a report on women who sell haunted dolls on eBay. Yes, you heard me correctly. Some people make it their life's work to sell other's spirits online. Or so they claim.

Of course, I was hella interested. Like, I can buy a soul? Good.

I make fun of people online, so I probably need one. I started shopping for a dead person like you'd shop for a roommate when you're first going to college. Will I like them? Do we have anything in common? Are they a malevolent spirit who will kill me in my sleep? All important questions.

So I went on eBay and found one doll that looked nice enough. Her name was Lizbeth, and she had a long profile that said she died by drowning. It also described how she communicates and how powerful she is. Honestly, much more informational than most Tinder bios. And I'm not tryna fuck her.

I decided Lizbeth was a perfect fit and spent only $50 on her eternal resting place

A steal of a deal. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I wanted to go into this experience. It's not that I didn't believe in ghosts, it's that I didn't necessarily believe I could buy a ghost on eBay. But I ultimately decided that it's 2018, anything is possible, and it would be way more fun to suspend disbelief and just let it happen. As soon as I made this decision, I started to wonder how pissed off this ghost was going to be that she had to spend a bunch of time ratting around in a USPS box.

As soon as I picked up the box from the lobby of our building, I immediately felt some kind of ~energy~.

I felt a little dazed, like something around me was sucking the emotional energy out of me. Granted, I ran into her box on the way back from a thicc lunch, so the energy I was feeling could've just been pad thai-induced fatigue. But I like to think there was a genuine aura there.

I brought the box upstairs to unpack Lizbeth and introduce her to everyone in the babe office. I'd say most people were NOT happy I was bringing a spirit into their midst. But I'd also say most of my co-workers are pussies. She sat on my desk for the rest of they day while I talked to her like an absolute psychopath.

After a long day at babe.net, I sat Lizbeth (hopefully comfortably?) in my backpack and took her home. I was told I was rude for not just unabashedly carrying her onto the subway with me and letting her sit on my lap. But I was like… there's no way she wants to see all these people on the subway! That's information overload. Especially if she's been in a dark box for the last week.

Let me be honest with all of you guys: I was very scared of Lizbeth when she got here.

The first night she came to my house, I set her up a little space on my dresser with a stuffed animal. I even gave her a candy, because I read she likes them. I mean, I ate the candy like four days later because I'm a MONSTER, but I gave her the sweet treat for at least a little bit.

I was scared to say negative things about her existence or even THINK negative things about her existence. I convinced my subconscious to thoroughly believe in Lizbeth to protect myself. Also, I definitely slept with the lights on the first night. Actually, it was more pathetic than that. I made my boyfriend stay on FaceTime with me until I fell asleep. Yeah, I know, I know. This is why we need feminism. Despite being comforted by the soft glow of my boyfriend playing Fortnite into the wee hours of the morning, I still woke up every hour on the hour. Me being neurotic or paranormal energy? You decide.

Nothing else really weird happened in the first few days.

I introduced Lizbeth to my roommates, but mostly kept her in my room on the dresser. I would come home from work, say hi, then go about my business. Much easier than having a dog.

While we didn't hang out much, I did have lots of thoughts about Lizbeth throughout the day.

When I got ready in the morning listening to music, I wondered if Lizbeth liked Drake or if she'd ever been to a concert. I wondered if she was confused by my cellphone. I even wondered if she liked hanging out with a young girl or if she hated every bone in my body because I represented a reality she could never have. I hoped for my physical safety she had come to peace… or at least didn't have enough mojo to fuck me up. I also spent a LOT of time thinking about the ethics of being naked in front of a ghost. Like, if this bitch is real, she's seen my vagina a LOT.

But three days into only slightly acknowledging her existence, Lizbeth sent me a message.

And it was scary. It said on Lizbeth's eBay page that she can communicate through dreams, but that seemed a little fishy to me. Doesn't everyone have fucking terrifying dreams all the time? Or do I just have some childhood trauma I don't know about? But I knew a Lizbeth nightmare when I saw one.

This dream was hyper vivid. I thought I had woken up, and my cellphone kept going off on my bedside table. I looked at it, and all the texts were from a contact called 'Charlotte.' Every text said to take my phone to the doll, so I did. That's when a text came in saying the doll's name wasn't Lizbeth, it was Charlotte. I woke up in SWEATS, y'all. Luckily, it was like 6:30am when I woke up, so I just rode into work a little early to make up for my PERPETUAL tardiness. I'm young and hate authority, what can I say? But I sure as fuck started to call the spirit Charlotte. She deserves that. She also scares the fuck out of me.

After a few days of peace, I decided to start sleeping with Charlotte in my bed to stir things up.

On day seven, she sent me another dream. Or I just have a fucked up psyche. Lmk. In this dream, I was inside an aquarium, but specifically the aquarium in Hulu's version of The Handmaid's Tale. There were a bunch of beautiful fish floating around in front of me, when all of a sudden, a single fish started to eat the other fish. But like, it was bloody. The fish that was eating everyone else could contort it's body to swallow something bigger than it and had completely black eyes. I felt a sincere affinity with the fish being eaten and remember being terrified. The worst part? When I woke up, it felt like something was nibbling at my feet.

While the dreams were scary, the most insane thing that Charlotte did was use her creepy powers to flip her body over. Let me explain.

When she started sleeping in my bed, I'd leave her on my pillow. Once, I came back from a shower and sat at my vanity to do my skincare routine. While I was looking in the mirror, I saw Charlotte FLIP OVER IN THE CORNER OF MY EYE. She turned from upright to completely on her face y'all. EXPLAIN THAT.

I calmed down on my day out, but I also relegated her to the dresser. I can't share my bed with a freak. Only a freaqq.

I continued to sleep with at least a lamp on during the entire experience, and I made my boyfriend FaceTime me most nights. But even when I came home drunk and forgot to take my precautionary measures, I still — wait for it — survived.

Now that I'm less scared of Charlotte, less happens. But I still definitely feel like she's there.

Originally, the plan was to take her to an antique store following this whole thing. Idk, it seemed rude to throw away someone's vessel. But most soul-sellers on eBay say it can take months or years to get a spirit to fully open up to you, so I think I'm going to keep her around for a while. Maybe her infiltrating my home is proof she's real. An insidious soul sucking the life out of me. But I like to think it's more my experiment with the beyond, a fun way to explore my subconscious. At least I didn't join the Wild Wild Country cult.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

I lived a week like it was 2007 and it was so freaking ridonkulous

I went on seven Tinder dates in seven days