Sammi dodged a MAJOR bullet
Just how much of a dick is Ronnie Ortiz-Margo? That's a question a lot of Jersey Shore fans — and basically anyone watching Jersey Shore: Family Vacation has been forced to reconcile with in light of Ronnie's behavior on the show's latest season.
Like a lot of things I thought were funny when I was a 15-year-old asshole, Sammi and Ronnie's relationship on the Jersey Shore was low key (high key) FUCKED UP. Follow me down this timeline of Ronnie's behavior and try and tell me this shit was okay — if you can.
First of all, he's the reason Sammi isn't on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation… and that's a good thing (for her)
Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola announced via Instagram that she wouldn't be appearing on the newest season of the show that made her famous, because she was "currently extremely happy in every aspect of my life" and wanted to "avoid potentially toxic situations." Hmm, I wonder what that could mean?
I completely understand why she wouldn't want to be thrown back into a scenario where she'd be forced to spend time with a man who routinely yelled at her on television.
Also, her new boyfriend is like… dramatically hotter. They look great together!
Because Ronnie and Sammi's relationship was a five-year-long NIGHTMARE
Let's be honest. They were both pretty shitty partners — but Ronnie always held the power in the relationship, and was pretty fucking hypocritical about it.
From the (honestly iconic) letter Snooki and J-Woww wrote Sammi to the whole bed-throwing incident, some very nasty shit went down between the two of them, and basically everyone in their lives wanted them to break up years before they finally split forever.
And the reason they broke up for good? Ronnie cheated on her after they moved in together because he got cold feet about marrying her. Ugh. Uuughhhhhhh.
And now Ronnie is back in the spotlight and on his bullshit
Ronnie admitted he was still in love with Sammi on the fifth episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation while talking to Snooki in a moment that is the definition of cringeworthy — as he discusses the reason he won't marry the mother of his child. That's right, motherfuckers: this man Ronnie is a FATHER. Of a HUMAN BABY. Shit's fucked up.
"Why can't you marry this bitch?" Snooki, ever tactful, asked a dejected Ronnie. "Because she's not…" was his response, and Snooki finished the sentence for him: "Because you're still in love with Sam?"
Ronnie then cited the "sense of stability" his relationship with Sammi brought him — AKA the ability to treat her like dirt and know she'd put up with it. What a fucking mess.
And of course, there's a physical altercation involved too
Nothing like hearing the father of your child say he doesn't love you on national television, am I right?
Unsurprisingly, Ronnie and the mother of his child are no longer together, but apparently the split isn't just Sammi-related. Check out this video of Ronnie berating — and pushing — his now-ex Jen because he found a sex tape of her and an ex on her phone.
The medium he chose to deal with his discovery? Instagram Live. She appears to be in the process of moving out in the video anyway, and they announced their breakup less than a day later — also on Instagram, because duh.
It remains to be seen what's next for Ronnie — he's apparently "hanging out" with someone from Vanderpump Rules or some equally inane shit — but rest assured: unless Ronnie wakes the fuck up and recognizes his pattern of shitty behavior, it will be terrible.
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