If you did ANY of these things as a kid, you’re depressed now
If you listened to Lana during your formative years… I’m so sorry
by Una Dabiero
Honestly, I don't know how anyone our age escaped childhood without clinical depression. Between tumblr culture and the Jonas Brothers break-up and the fact that our parents were too scared to let us ride a bike around alone, we were all kind of destined to be fucked up.
And like…unfettered access to the internet? As a child? Who the fuck decided that was a good idea? That's the reason kids are killing each other for Slenderman!
I know most of us are depressed, but some of us are just Bound 2 be more depressed than others. Especially if we've been sad bois and girls from a young age. If you did ANY of these things as a kid, you're depressed now. Scientifically confirmed.
Did really well on standardized tests
Or weirdly enjoyed them.
bitches who got full scores on the reading comprehension parts of standardized testing have major depression now
— H (@heavybagofbones) May 6, 2018
Listened to Lana Del Rey or Marina and the Diamonds during your formative years
Like, of course you're fucked up now.
people who listened to Lana Del Rey and Marina and the Diamonds at age 13 are depressed now , I can confirm
— ?rybaby ?ynn ✧ (@xbasedxgoddess) May 6, 2018
Had FREAKY reading abilities
You were in Accelerated Reading, weren't you?
Listened to the most sinister of boy bands
You FELT every word to "When You Look Me In The Eyes" and you still have zero faith you'll find someone that inspires such EMOTION
girls who listened to naked brothers band or the jonas brothers are all depressed now
— rach (@rachaeljbarry) May 5, 2018
Let your online pets die
This extends to Neopets, Webkinz, Nintendogs. You just got bored with those little fuckers.
ppl who religiously lived on neopets for a week and then let their pets starve are all depressed now
— madds (@maddylanier) May 1, 2018
Listened to the Veronicas so frequently you still remember they exist
ESPECIALLY this song.
if you remember this song you’re depressed with a drug addiction now pic.twitter.com/OgSUYk5No2
— ? (@victoriacudi) May 7, 2018
Had a love for Kellin Quinn
Or any angsty pop punk boy.
if kellin quinn was your lock screen when you were 13/14, you are now bisexual or depressed
— hannah (@hanwoodley) April 27, 2018
Kept a diary
Where you wrote about being sad.
people who kept diaries in elementary school are all depressed and alcoholics now
— Chun-Lilian (@LilianEseonu) April 25, 2018
Got all As
You cried when you didn't get a sticker on your assignment.
Everyone that made all A’s in 3rd grade is sad and depressed now
— Yung Very Sad (@FlagInSpanish) April 24, 2018
Went to Catholic school
Once a nun gave me detention because I ate Skittles in the library. It's no wonder I have mental health issues.
every1 who went 2 catholic school is now depressed, gay, super athiest, or all of the above
— cult boyfriend (@WHENSAINTSRIOT) April 22, 2018
I'm really sorry we were destined to be this way from the time we were try-hards in elementary school. I guess it's the way we're supposed to be. Or maybe that's just the Prozac talking. Lmaoooooooo.