Are Bermuda shorts…cool again?! An investigation

Most of us respond to the utterance of "Bermuda shorts" with a VISCERAL reaction. If I am forced to spend even a millisecond thinking about the rhinestoned, baby blue Bermudas I wore to slip past my middle school dress code, I immediately shut down. Like, total blackout. I don't need to think about my developmental years ever! Thanks. It hurts.

But you know how they say beauty is pain? It looks like 2018 is forcing me to revel in my painful existence as a 13-year-old and consider wearing Bermuda shorts again. Yes, it's true. There's a rumor going around that one of the worst trends OF ALL TIME is coming back. I've seen them on billboards, my Facebook targeted ads (which ROUTINELY target me), and I've definitely seen them on a few influencers.

But is it really true that Bermuda shorts are cool again? Or are the cursed agenda setters trying to make them a thing a la fetch? I launched a formal investigation into their trendiness, plus their practicality as a style option, you know, if you aren't rich and famous.

Sadly, the Kardashians say 'yes' — at least at first glance

In Hollywood, Bermuda shorts seem to be officially cool again. Kim Kardashian has been seen wearing the shorts all spring…

And Khloe's Good American clothing line has an entire page of Bermudas.

It seems like bike shorts might be more "in" with celebrities than Bermudas, which are also trendy. But because the average bear can't pull off a bike short, they'll stick to what they know: jeans cut off at the knees.

Vogue says a tentative 'yes,' and companies are really trying to sell them as a trend

Bermuda shorts were seen on the Spring 2018 runway, especially on Off-White's walks.

And lots of fast fashion brands are trying to sell Bermuda shorts as 2018's summer trend. Fashion Nova has a whole bermuda short section on their site…

And brick and mortar stores like Forever 21 are putting the shorts all over their social media.

So they might be trendy… but will everyday humans wear them in 2018?

I think most people won't. I asked the girls in babe IRL if they will ever wear Bermuda shorts again, and mostly got responses that read as gags.

I also asked my dozens loyal Twitter followers their opinion on the pants, and no one was willing to ANONYMOUSLY admit that they wear them.

A quick Twitter search turns up similar sentiments.

Honestly? I think the rise of the Bermuda short can be explained by stores trying to capitalize off the rise of the biker short — the Bermuda short's obvious cooler older sister

Think about it. The Kardashian family — and therefore most celebs — are obsessed with the bike short.

They have a similar cut to the Bermuda, but tend to be made of an athletic material and stick to the body. That's lit when you have Kim's legs. But it's really, really bad if you are… normal.

Most people would be way more comfortable wearing a Bermuda than a biker short. Or at least that's what some think. But really, we should all hop on the biker trend, cellulite ass or not. It seems just as comfy and it comes with WAY less baggage. That makes it twice as cool. Like, we never wore biker shorts with Abercrombie.

But I also totally get it if you wear Bermuda shorts because they cover your ass and they're kinda in. Or if you just like them. To each their own. Just, please God, don't let them be plaid.

Related stories:

• Vogue just released a list of 2018 trends and they’re all so ugly and unflattering, I’m ready to die

• Here are all the trends I thought were still cool, but are actually completely over

• The first trend of spring is impossible for regular humans to pull off but DAMN, I wish I could