We asked girls for the biggest relationship red flags they’ve ever seen, and now I never want to date again
Love is HORRIFYING
by Katie Way
We've all been on a few dates with someone before we discovered something that stopped us cold in our tracks and made us buy a one-way ticket to Ghost City.
Maybe your prospective boo was "into politics." Maybe your would-be lover asked you if you wanted to go to a Meghan Trainor concert. Maybe you saw that dick print and shit was looking too small!
Either way, we've all run into red flags before beginning a potential relationship — so I asked girls about the worst warning signs they've ever experienced in the dating world and honestly, this shit makes me want to delete Tinder, throw my phone into the sea and then become a nun — and not necessarily in that order!
Guy from work. Super cute, super smart. We were chilling talking and I said something about LGBTQ rights and he was like, "Ew hopefully you're not one of those, because just ew no." Like… BOY BYEEEEEE!
whenever someone says a murder suspect "wouldn't hurt a fly"…to me that's red flag numero uno. picture a guy just calmly sitting in a chair eating a bologna sandwich while a fly buzzes around his head. that's psycho shit.
— bobby (@bobby) May 14, 2018
When you know, you know…
I was texting this girl and we had a lot in common (she was a Tinder match), but we hadn’t even gone on a date yet when she brought up our future and was like “Well, maybe down the road we can live together :)”
We were headed out of town for a date when he got pulled over. We had been speeding and he received a ticket. He was older than me by about four years, like 26 or 27 at the time. He teared up a little — mind you, I thought he was one of the “tear up cause I’m mad” type of people, because I am. But he proceeded to pull his phone out, sniffle, and the first (and only) word I heard was: “Mommmmyyyyy….” And then he asked to be taken home. 🙄
We’re still friendly acquaintances and he’s still whiny.
Seeing just one picture of a truck on a guy’s Instagram sets off so many alarms in my head I literally cannot think of a bigger red flag
— Taylor Myers. (@taylorpaigeeee_) May 14, 2018
It's a jungle down there
Three words: A huge bush. I couldn’t even see his penis, I had to go looking. 😬😬😬
The talent scout
I once went on a date with a guy who told me he usually dated supermodels but I had “potential.” Then he proceeded to point at areas on my body he liked versus what I needed to work on. Needless to say the date ended with me throwing hot spaghetti in his lap and leaving to go to a bar down the street.
He told me he thought about killing people all the time and had like, notes about how to do it. He said when he was in a cab with someone alone, he would think of all the ways he could kill that person without anyone finding out.
imagine how much time and happiness you would have saved if you left a toxic relationship after the first red flag and never gave them a second chance
— Gabe (@GabeHatem_) May 15, 2018
I met up with a Tinder date two weekends ago to pregame at his place before a party we were all going to. I took my friend with me, 'cause there was a bunch of us.
Anyway, fast forward half an hour and I see my date going into his bedroom with my friend and they're gone for like 45 minutes. He ghosts me and adds my friend on Facebook the next day. I bumped into him on the train days later and called him an asshole, to which he responded "Yeah, I know."
I was actually dating this guy for a couple months. He was the real deal and I seriously liked him. Until one day when we were driving in his car, looking for the dry cleaning place his mom asked him to stop by and pick up clothes from. For some reason we had a hard time finding it, which resulted in him saying a bunch of cuss words and throwing his phone in the car, breaking it. I immediately broke up with him that week. I don't need that kind of rage anger in my life!
brb, i'm ignoring red flags
— so sad today (@sosadtoday) May 10, 2018
Not a threat, but a promise
I was talking to a guy I met on Tinder and it seemed very like just friends…? Nothing sexual or romantic. We chatted a few times a week and it was all super casual.
One day he asked me to meet him, and I said I couldn't because I was busy or whatever, and he then replied saying he feels he can't live without me and he would kill himself if I ever left him! We'd probably been talking about 3 weeks?
It's safe to say I blocked him on any and all social media and got the hell out of there before it was too late.
Anytime a guy says he hates Michelle Obama or Beyoncé, I stop speaking to them! Don’t need that negativity in my life!
putting on rose tinted glasses so the red flags are easier to ignore
— haley (@drowsygf) May 10, 2018
Best friends for never
I had a manipulative former guy BFF that tried to manipulate/pressure me into a relationship I didn't want. Eventually, I was forced to cut him out of my life because he would get absolutely shit-faced every time I so much as talked about having interest in someone else.
I was always having to deal with a drunken message like, "I love you, we're meant to be together… but I'm a total garbage person… you don't want me… but I love you we're soulmates… but I'm dirt and I'm not worthy of you…please be my girlfriend?" And honestly, I got so tired of his bullshit, I had to get rid of him entirely.
Five years later and I'm still fucking bitter about the whole thing and angry for not seeing the red flags sooner.
Once a guy showed me a hole he punched in his dry wall… And somehow, this has happened to like, a lot of people I know?!
Related stories recommended by this writer:
We asked girls for the dumbest reasons they cried while hormonal and now I’m crying too
‘I cried because the sky was beautiful’
by Katie Way
We've all been there — in a situation where normally, we'd be faintly annoyed, but with the added bonus of a veritable tsunami of estrogen. Sometimes, you just have to cry it out, am I right? Whether it's that Sarah McLaughlin commercial with those sad, abandoned cats or the Chipotle employee fucking up your order…
How often should you shower? An investigation
It’s time to be honest for once
by Ari Bines
Most people I know say they shower every single day, which makes sense because that's what we've all been trained to think from our parents washing our asses in our infancy. However, this is real life where we don't live in an episode of Sex and the City and the characters have 72 hour days…
Babe’s guide to everything you need to know about period sex
It doesn’t have to be a monthly gateway to hell
by Ari Bines
While I would love to go back on birth control to get my freak on, the pill kind of just kills my sex drive. And since that's even worse than my period, I've given up on the idea of letting nature part the red sea. Instead of drowning in rolls of sushi, curled up in…