‘Women can tell when you’re faking!’ We talked to sex workers about servicing female clients
It’s more common than you think
When babe writes about sex workers, we generally do so within the framework of women and femmes working with male clients.
But in reality, men aren't the only ones who buy into the sex work economy, even though public perception says otherwise. We took time to speak with women in the sex work industry about their female clientele and their own experiences paying other women for sex.
Some women are much more comfortable with screening
"I think women understand the risk better," Angel, 24, said. "Because of the potential dangers, they know we need to screen our clients."
But others tend to shy away after the initial inquiry. "There are many women who call and don’t follow up," Satin, 27, said. "I think it’s the calling and setting up that excites them."
Women might conduct themselves differently during the encounter
Some of the sex workers we spoke with said that overall, they'd had nothing but positive experiences with women. "All of my negative experiences have been with white men," Clara, 29, said. Her female clients tend to be cleaner, punctual and more willing to share things about themselves. "With men, it's more like, 'I like sports, I have a dog.'" she said. "Women are more willing to give."
And, in general, the sex workers we spoke to said they found women more respectful. "I often feel that woman clients come with an overall better approach to our jobs and services," Winnie, 24, said. She's only had a few female clients in her two years in sex work, but she said they were much easier to work with overall. "No woman has asked me to compromise my safety for her pleasure."
Does that mean no woman has ever compromised or violated a sex worker she hired? No — but none of the women we interviewed spoke to that specific experience, even though it undoubtedly exists.
Apparently, they want a different kind of intimacy
Many of the sex workers we spoke to said women tend to request different services than their male counterparts, favoring connection over immediate release. "Female clients want more dinner dates," Clara said. "The slow unfolding of connection."
Angel said her clients, especially those new to the world of sex work, tend to gravitate towards her both because she identifies as bisexual and offers massage services. "It doesn't have to be sex — you can be sexually stimulated in more than one way," Angel said. "Often they're burnt out on sex, and men aren't stimulating them sexually."
But they also want illusion
Clara said in her experience, female clients tend to demand more emotionally than their male counterparts. "Femmes wanna sit and have late-night sleepover conversations and be vulnerable," she said. "And they want a different balance between artifice and authenticity. They want you to be into women — and women can tell when you're faking!"
Of course, it's not unheard of for a female sex worker to really enjoy her time when her client is a woman. Satin said her favorite experience with a female client was when another sex worker booked her. "I was turned on by the fact that she spent her money on me," Satin said. "Also that she was super hot, beautiful, and I was her first woman."
And apparently, buying sex as a woman is a lot of fun too
Liara, a 27-year-old who travels from coast to coast as a sex worker, said she regularly sees both cis and transwomen — and that one of her favorite sexual experiences was when she herself hired a female sex worker.
"One of my fondest memories is my experience hiring a dominatrix! Her name is Simone Justice and she went above and beyond in making my fantasy a reality," Liara told babe. "I’m usually dominant and have a hard time submitting to someone unless I trust them deeply. I had seen Simone playing with a close friend of mine at a play party, and it was super hot so I wanted in on it."
Sex workers want to end the stigma around female clientele
Which like, duh, it's good for business. But sex workers also see what they do as a solution for women who aren't being sexually satisfied in their everyday lives, who want someone to open up to, or who just want to try something new and fun. Everyone should be practicing "sexual self-care" — and booking time with a sex worker is the perfect way to do so, Clara said. "Sex workers are a safe space for everyone," she said.
Angel also thinks more women should be open to booking time with other women. "Many women would love it, but fear the taboo," she said. "Everyone should have this experience."
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