pop • May 22 2018

911! Emergency! Kim Kardashian just posted a picture of her vagina!

I was threatened

I will never forget today. On Tuesday May 22 at exactly 3:09 p.m. EST, I was innocently scrolling through my Instagram feed, excited to try out that new mute feature on girls from my sorority who have kids now.

At 3:09, I was a girl. Now, I'm a woman. And it's all thanks to Kimberly Noel Kardashian West and her impossibly hairless genitals.

As part of an ongoing campaign for her body-shaped fragrance conspicuously titled KKW Body, Kim posted yet another photo of her fully nude form to Instagram. This time, though, the focus wasn't on her gravity-defying nipples or her technologically-enhanced waist: it was her vagina!

Here's the pic zoomed in:

And here it is zoomed out so you can appreciate it in context with the rest of her hypnotizeingly smooth decapitated body:

I have a complex about literally every part of my own body so BRB, taking a compact mirror into the office bathroom now! Time to get critical!

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