911! Emergency! Kim Kardashian just posted a picture of her vagina!
I was threatened
by Amanda Ross
I will never forget today. On Tuesday May 22 at exactly 3:09 p.m. EST, I was innocently scrolling through my Instagram feed, excited to try out that new mute feature on girls from my sorority who have kids now.
At 3:09, I was a girl. Now, I'm a woman. And it's all thanks to Kimberly Noel Kardashian West and her impossibly hairless genitals.
As part of an ongoing campaign for her body-shaped fragrance conspicuously titled KKW Body, Kim posted yet another photo of her fully nude form to Instagram. This time, though, the focus wasn't on her gravity-defying nipples or her technologically-enhanced waist: it was her vagina!
Here's the pic zoomed in:
And here it is zoomed out so you can appreciate it in context with the rest of her hypnotizeingly smooth decapitated body:
I have a complex about literally every part of my own body so BRB, taking a compact mirror into the office bathroom now! Time to get critical!