The dumbest summer shoe of all time is here, so jump on it if you’re a trendy dumbass

It's a sad day for fashion when shoes start transitioning from essential protection for your feet to a mobile storage center.

Nike sliders have been a staple in almost every fuckboy starter pack. But now, Nike's taken it to horrifying extremes. The brand's upcoming product launch is the dumbest, most ridiculous idea to ever hit the market. Are you ready? Fanny. Pack. Sliders.

These shoes belong somewhere in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, your grandma's "garden shoe" closet, or on the cousin you're a little bit worried about — but not anywhere near my feet (reminder: they want you to actually spend money on these).

This is where I have to put my foot down and say function should take a backseat to fashion. I don't see what's wrong with just using a damn backpack or a regular fanny pack?! They're both useful, effective and I don't have to bend over and risk your ass getting slapped every time you need to grab your BC pill.

Twitter shares my reservations, which obviously means I'm right

There's no news on when they're set to hit shelves, but you definitely won't find me standing outside in the heat waiting in a long-ass line to grab a pair of these uglies. Where they do that at?!?!?

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@aribines