These are the six types of fuckboys you need to date before getting into a serious relationship
There are no mistakes, only lessons
We all need to take a moment to ourselves and be honest enough to admit that we've all been settling. Period, point blank.
As women, we've consistently been making proactive strides to finding Mr Right, but instead keep falling into bed with Mr "WYD?" It's disappointing and sad, but take a moment to realize that he is actually the best thing for you. All fuckboys are! Learn how to spot these key fuckboy types and, you'll welcome them to teach you how to handle a man who's the real deal.
Enjoy these illustrations by the talented Bobby Palmer
The Overt Flirt
The Overt Flirt probably got you to go out with him because he was one of the hottest smooth-talkers you'd ever come across. I was always taught that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. The Overt Flirt is an attention whore and doesn't care where he gets attention from even if it's not from you.
Sleeping with him means that you'll notice when a guy you're dating (hoping for something long-term) is genuinely into you. He won't sway the conversation and make it about himself, and you'll be more aware of men who only speak because they enjoy the sound of their own raspy voice. When you've met someone who's worth your time, he asks you all the questions in mind because he, too, is looking for something stable.
The Mystic Nerd
You'll want to date The Mystic Nerd because he seems too cute, lanky and harmless. You'd never imagine that he's anywhere near a fuckboy. There's no doubt he's sweet, but he's already planning to put a ring on it, wanting you to have the kids and stay home while he works. Mind you, he's setting things into place within the month you two have even known each other.
The Mystic Nerd is great for your more serious relationships because he'll help you to realize what your true life goals are for the future. He's the type of fuckboy who's aching to put a leash on you. Once you lose that sense of freedom you thought you didn't want, you're quick to comprehend what hope your man understands about your career choices.
Homebody fuckboys don't want to do shit with their life and will guilt-trip you to bring you down with him. He doesn't want to meet any of your friends, and he sure as hell doesn't want to meet your family. More than likely, you'll only ever go over to his house, where you will watch him kick ass at Mortal Kombat (his only skill) and watch as he yells at other homebody boyfriends through his PS4 headset.
The Homebody is great practice for you to understand you cannot change a man who still doesn't know what to do with his life by his senior year in college. A guy who has absolutely no ambition is unhealthy for you, because you'll be the first one to support his useless ass. If you really mean anything to him and gather enough lady balls to leave him, he could very well sprout into the serious relationship you're looking for.
Any woman who believes a guy who says he's The Gentleman will find nothing but disappointment. Labeling himself a gentleman means setting high expectations that will inevitably fail when he does something ungentlemanly. The Gentleman will be good for any serious relationship you get into because he'll teach you to never expect a damn thing from men.
In a real (adult) relationship, he's going to fuck up…like a lot. Real relationships mean you can be comfortable enough to give each other your space when needed and hover over them when necessary, but I like my guys a little jank and dirty. It's proof that he's human and isn't too good for giving oral sex. Just saying.
The Free Thinker
A free-thinking fuckboy sounds like you've hit the jackpot of woke boys—but that is his very flaw. He's progressive to a fault and is so open-minded, he'll be willing to agree with the most baffling alt-right views, hoping to give everyone's unpopular opinion a chance. Beware that this might include wasting his time explaining why tampons should be taxed, how the earth is flat and reiterating that the president isn't necessarily trying to be racist.
While free-thinking is a good thing and should be welcomed into your sheets, you'll understand your own morals and values as to how you view the world. This way, you can decide what opinions do and don't fly with you. Also, if there's something you just don't understand, the Free Thinker will push you to do your homework, so you don't look dumb in front of The One.
The Love Boy
Here's the fuckboy who always wants you to open up to him about your relationship with each other and explain to him thoroughly what's wrong with him and yawl's relationship. The problem with him is that he's not actually emotionally ready to hear why he's fucked up.
The Love Boy will want to talk to you to make sure everything he's doing is right, but in the case that things are rocky between you two, he doesn't want to hear it and will spin the issue to somehow make it your fault.
In a more promising relationship, your more mature bae welcomes the idea that you want to redefine your relationship and that if he's bringing you down, he wants you to tell him so because you're too precious for him to lose. Any guy who wants to really work on a relationship will do so without complaint and right his wrongs swiftly.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
● A guide to every fuckboy outfit you’ll ever witness and inevitably fall for at some point
● The United States of Fuckboys: Every guy you’ll meet in all 50 states
● Fuckboy Diaries: The 18-year-old whose man who’s not her man but he’s her man kisses another girl
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