2017 - 2022 Tab Media lust •
If even three of these things are happening in the relationship, you’re DEFINITELY the side bitch
Oh you thought you were their only girl? HA!
by Ari Bines
Dating has always been a game that comes with life-altering challenges. It's filled with miscommunication, heartbreak and breakup playlists running on repeat. But being a side chick is the ultimate relationship diss.
There are, however, surefire signs that you may not be the only girl they're sending eggplant emojis to though, hunty. When they're coming off as sweet, but don't actually put in quality time with you, you best believe you're their side piece — maybe even one of many. Here are all the signs that you could probably be someone's side bitch.
Get real relationship advice from babe’s community of real girls with our paid membership
They're unemotional when you open up to them
If your dog just died, don't be surprised when they respond that they didn't hear you the first time or just sent an unsympathetic "sorry to hear that". You're a side piece, so they're not interested in getting into anything deeper than your 'gina. Your relationship isn't a relationship when they can't find a smidge of empathy for you, hun.
They'll substitute gifts for actual hangout time
When you get ditched for the other woman who you don't know about, they'll be sure to make it up to you with some sort of present. You should also note that the more expensive the gift, the more they want you to stop questioning their true whereabouts.
You thought you were staying the night after sex? Bitch, you are heavily buggin
You two are probably getting it on more often than not. However, if the clock strikes 3 AM and you're still being pushed out of bed, you most definitely are his, her or their side bitch. Sure, they might make the offer to drive you home at such a late, sketchy hour, but the fact remains that you are not allowed slumber parties…ever!
PDA doesn't exist in your so-called 'relationship'
Holding hands, kissing and even a hug is foreign to you when you're someone's side bitch. If you initiate public displays of affection, you can bet your ass they're going to pull away and distance themselves from you even more. Sorry, girl.
They dodge taking pics with you at any chance
That saying 'pics or it didn't happen' is one that all fuckboys and fuckgirls use to their advantage when accused of cheating on the main person. They'll use a lot of plausible deniability, saying they don't like getting their picture taken, say they're ugly and anything else that will get you stop trying to hit the shutter from going off.
Your so-called 'special place' is actually his hideout
Places that aren't high profile for him is where you'll spend 'dates' on a night out. God knows how far from home they'll travel to make sure no one spots you two together. So, if you two live in NY and they're driving you all the way out to the Palisades Mall in NJ, you a side bitch, boo.
Family and friend gatherings are out of the question
You are not on the same level as his main chick (who you still don't know exists). Family and friends one of the biggest steps when moving the needle of the relationship. But here you are sitting nice, pretty and way the fuck away from anyone blood-related. You'll be lucky if you meet they're cat to be 100 percent real with you.
Netflix and chill is the only date they'll take you on
To avoid any sighting, you'll be asked to hang out at either their place or your place (but mostly at your place). It's where you two can completely be alone and one with each other while the main squeeze is somewhere being just as oblivious as you are to the ordeal.
They'll suddenly say they can't talk in the middle of your phone call
The slight bit of secrecy is a huge red flag of your side bitch business. Speaking over the phone is usually done in hushed, low tones or they all of a sudden dash off of the phone mid-convo. Guuurrl, you betta rekonize you are a bitch. on. the. siiiiddde.
They consistently cancel on you at the last minute…a lot
Making plans with people is already hard enough work, but when you're unknowingly the side bitch, you'll be taking rain checks left and right. If the quality time to cancellation ratio is off, it's crystal clear you're sitting on the sidelines of their lovelife.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
● This is how to ask a girl to give you head, by a girl
● I asked Tinder dudes if they’d go down on me with a full bush, and I’ll never wax again
● The biggest power move of all time is having sex while hairy