A girl’s guide on how to be cool

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A girl’s guide on how to be cool

It wasn’t easy, but I got there

Not everyone is born knowing how to be cool in school. In fact, some (if not, most) of us have never really quite gotten the hang on how to be a cool kid. But being a fat black woman, one of the most underrepresented groups in America, I was able to dust off getting a lot of criticism and some how, some way, people began to think I was cool. Before you label me a narcissist, these are not my words, but just what I've heard around the block and I'm here to share my secrets on how to be a cool girl. Buckle up, baby girl.

Don't worry about other people

The reason you care about what other people think about you is because you've seen your friends, celebrities and influencers who know how to gain Instagram likes and followers. But what works for them and their page may not necessarily work for you.

The only person you should seek validation from is yourself. I know, easier said than done, but Sephora wasn't built in a day and it'll take time to learn how to not focus your energy on others. There's a difference between using Instagram as a tool for inspiration and it being a way for you to torture yourself. Although it may sound self-centered, that's exactly what you should be. When you're moving to the beat of your own drum is what makes you someone to influence others.

Embrace your flaws

Belive it or not, the things that make you a weirdo are the things that people will absolutely love you for. If the world did everything exactly the same, we probably wouldn't even go outside, it'd be so boring.

My sweet girl ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on Jun 14, 2018 at 1:46pm PDT

I hated that I was the only fat girl in nearly every one of my classes, but I got tired of hating myself and thinking 'I hate my life' just to crawl back under the covers and stay there for the duration of my mortality.

It wasn't until I concluded that what made me different was my power instead of a crutch. Having flaws can potentially relate to someone else's who may see you and think you're doing a better job of dealing with them than they ever could. People are inherently imperfect, so it's best we all find our imperfect doppelgangers.

Laugh at yourself

Having a good sense of humor is going to be one of the best ways to be a cool person. If you take everything super personally, no one's going to want to hang out with you if you don't know how to take a joke, and you don't want to be dryer than the chicken your cafeteria lady made for lunch, so imagine how other people would feel about you.

Only change when you think it's necessary

That stupid ass saying that's written in the backs of everyone's high school yearbook is true. Don't ever change for anybody but you. If you want to die your hair pink tomorrow, fucking. do. it. bitch.

No one can stop you because period, point, blank, it's your life and with the way things have been running in the world, there's no one qualified to tell you anything about you and your life. Live your life until you can wake up everyday feeling rejuvenated and brand new. Then, and only then will be the moment you know you're cool.

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@aribines