We asked girls for their first date horror stories and they’ll make you never want to date again
Fuck Tinder, I’m trying to not get murdered
by Una Dabiero
There are two types of people in this world: Those who are serial daters and those who are the one-single-date-then-dump-them types. Me personally? I'm a serial dater. Sure, first dates and new loves may be exciting. But they're also INCREDIBLY scary. You have no idea if this guy you met on Bumble is Prince Charming or an axe murderer, and I just can't deal with that uncertainty.
Because chances are, even if he doesn't kill you at dinner, he's gonna be totally unexciting in bed. I'd rather kill all the passion in a relationship by staying in it too long than find myself killed and thrown behind a dumpster. But maybe that's just me.
HER: i love bad boys
ME: *trying to impress* my mom doesn't know where i am
— Alien Skier Unfiltered (@ClichedOut) April 29, 2018
We asked girls for their first date HORROR stories to prove my point that being single is fucking terrified. But don't worry, no one dies in these stories. That would be… way too morbid, even for babe dot net.
I went on a first date to the zoo with this guy I liked. While we were walking around, I commented that it was really quiet. There was like no one there. He said: "Oh, it'll be better when we come with our kids!" 😨 On the way back home, he said "I still like you, do you like me?" I definitely did NOT.
In college, I went on a first date with this guy I met on Tinder. We were riding a bus to the restaurant, and he asked me my major. The second I said English, he turned white as a sheet, mumbled something about how he could never introduce me to his parents, and then got off at the next stop with absolutely zero warning. It was mortifying.
My date and I went for a walk in the park when he informed me that he couldn't walk past a specific building because there were ghosts there that tortured him. Funnily enough, I went home afterwards.
Once, this guy tried to stick his hand down my pants in the movie theater on a first date. He told me that he wanted to see what I taste like to "make sure I'm clean."
When I met this guy from a dating app, he was tall… but ABSOLUTELY disgusting. He smelled funny and he had spit crust in the corners of his lips. I was just so grossed out by him that I went to the bathroom mid-movie and pretended I was sick so I could dip out. I know if I inhaled any more of him, I definitely would have passed out.
I once went on a date to a sushi restaurant with a guy I met on Tinder. I guess I didn't realize from our brief texting conversation that he barely spoke English. Dinner was really awkward — partially because I couldn't understand a word he said, partially because he forced me to FaceTime his parents. Apparently, I was the love of his life. I blocked him IMMEDIATELY after leaving the restaurant.
This one dude made me WALK miles from his house to our dinner date because he was "fit" and told me he liked to exercise. We walked for HOURS just to end up at motherfucking Applebees. Yes, Applebees. What made him suck even harder was that he didn’t offer to buy me a meal, and I was starving since I just spent my entire day walking miles. I never responded to his texts after that.
I arranged a Tinder "date" with this guy who goes to my school. We were literally just going to watch a movie in his dorm, so I thought it would be a quick hook-up and then I could leave. I got there and his roommate was there. We ended up watching Trainspotting, the least sexy movie ever, while his roommate was eyeballing us. I didn't even touch the man, left his room, and blocked his number. So annoying.