We’ve translated these fuckboy phrases for you, so now you have no excuse for texting him back
Your most important guide
To prepare you for the inevitable relationship you'll have with a one, here's a guide on speaking the language of fuckboy:
'We don’t need labels'
Labels are just a way for society to put you in a box, man. You don't need that, man. Just tell them to smoke and go with the flow and be completely emotionally unavailable.
'You haven't had sex until you've done it with me'
A wise person once said, "have the confidence of a mediocre white man, and the delusional, tone deaf optimism of wealthy blonde women." This fuckboy terminology is used to trap potential baes into thinking you're packing some serious goods when you know in your heart of hearts you're packing twinkies.
'Stop filming me'
Speaking in fuckboy requires distancing yourself from defining the relationship by any means necessary. "Stop filming me" refers to preventing any physical evidence that can be traced back to him. You can do it too when you're juggling 4 guys at once.
'You wasn’t even that cute anyway'
In other words, you're definitely hot, but have become way less hot for not giving him what he wants in the milliseconds that he wants it from you.
'Oh you thought I was only ridin' wit chu???'
Translation: I'm not committed to you or her. In fact, I need to pull up on my baby mamma to give her this vitamin D.
'You just as crazy as my last'
In fuckboy culture (also known as "fuckboi" culture), you must know how to compare the former romance to the current. Referring to any woman as crazy is like reciting a spoken word for getting out of the relationship. Be smart about its usage because they will go the fuck off on you for using such foul fuckboy language.
'I just got your text' (2 weeks later)
When learning how to speak fuckboy, you must allow yourself to lie like it's second nature to you. You know you got the text. You read it several times, but speaking fuckboy doesn't allow for the truth to be told, so blame technology for your so-called mishap.
'I’m just not tryna be tied down right now'
Those last words, "right now" is language used by fuckboys to give you the impression that you have a chance with him later down the line. You don't, but how else would he keep up with his fuckboy ways?
'So…we still going back to your place?'
This fuckboy phrase is best used after he's done something borderline unforgivable. Of course, he's a fuckboy, so he doesn't recognize his own bad behavior. That's what you're there for, hoping you can train a fuckboy to be better until he's reached boyfriend material.
'Listen, you gotta do what’s best for you'
Only well-versed fuckboy linguists will use this on you because they will not fight you and spin their words to
'Come fuck with a real one'
As a woman, this will be your best (and only) argument for trying to convince someone to leave their significant other
'It was just a kiss, relax'
Invalidating their feelings by reducing your sexual activity to paint it as micro chearting will have them in the palm of their hands. They know
'You're not gonna shave, first?'
Questioning any and all of your feminist choices is standard fuckboy speech typically coupled with sizing you up in a judgemental way. Anything
'We weren't together together, so…'
In the language of fuckboy, this is will be your greatest defense for if (but most likely when) you fuck up and are caught hooking up with someone that's not the main squeeze.
'If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t…'
Ahh, a classic phrase derived straight from the reverse psychology playbook. Anything you do is permissable and if they dare test you, sprinkle some guilt-trip on them.
'I’m not gonna fight with you'
Oh, but he will. And if you've got this lil dictionary handy, you'll know that. This term will be used during your fight with him and he's just emotionally drained from being dead-ass wrong.
'You got any money on you?'
They won't say what for, but in the language of broke-ass fuckboys, this means they are living that paycheck to paycheck lifestyle, or don't want to spend their own money, so they ask you to spend yours.
'Sorry, you just get me heated'
He's not really sorry, but wants you to think you can affect him so. It's genius! He gets your mind thinking you have actual power over him. HA!
'Believe what you want'
Anyone fluent in fuckboy will keep this line in their back pocket. If he lies, cheats or steals, he's got your insecurity and doubt to cover his ass.
'Wooooooooow, that’s how you feel?'
Fuckboy language can also be used for a shocking turn of events in which he will incredulously ask you this when you go awf, sis. More often than not, he's done something wrong for you to have gone there with him.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
Yes, it’s possible: Here’s how to stay friends with your exes
Don’t be That Couple
by Caroline Phinney
Personally, I do not condone remaining friends with an ex but occasionally you have no other choice unless you're willing to risk losing all your friends along with them. Maybe you've been dating since high school, maybe your sorority and his frat mixed in college, or maybe your post-college lives are just so deeply intertwined…
You’re in the outback and this kangaroo slaps your girl’s ass. What do you do?
She’s not your girlfriend anymore, mate
by Nian Hu
You (22 M) are in a wonderful relationship with your girlfriend (21 F) of five years. You adore her to pieces and you intend to ask for her hand in marriage soon. She is your light, your universe, your everything. And one day she will be your wife and mother of your children. You take…
How soon is too soon to say ‘I love you,’ and other things you’re definitely stressing over
There are rules, people
by Caroline Phinney
Do you ever remember embarrassing moments from your past and feel an intense full body cringe come on, as if you were back in it, living that exact moment again? Like the time in the 6th grade you told Tyler you had a crush on him, and then he told the entire class you were…