If this dumb new shirt is the summer’s hot trend, just break my legs and leave me for dead
by Ari Bines
Boobs are great. I know because I battle with my (sometimes itchy) 36DD's every.single.day. However, there's a new ridiculous trend infesting my feeds. I understand we want to find creative ways to put boobs on blast, dressed up like Cardi B's juggs at the Met Ball, but this latest idea in hello titty fashion looks fucking foolish. Enter the extreme crop.
First of all, it's a damn sweater
Just as a reminder, this is a summer trend. A summer trend I say, but we're out here thinking that sporting a half of a half of shirt cut out qualifies as summer wear. In what world, my friend?
Your arms are still covered, your back will still be sweaty and you're getting pit stains everywhere when that heat hit. Why are we doing this, girls? Someone needs to call child services because this is a blatant crime before my eyes. This trend couldn't decide if it wanted to be a sweatshirt or a choker.
Like really, girl? I get it, you want to show us all that you're hot and you've got a nice rack, but this is just too much. What even is the point if we're going to take a shirt and keep only the neck and sleeves? Are we buying a our clothes by parts now? Because you might as well just tell the store clerks to keep the shirt and just take the sleeves.
I hate to sound like a grandma, but how much are we paying for this shit? Like you paid actual money for one of these things? Girl. This is exactly like when ripped jeans came back. But there's a difference between ripped jeans and slaughtered jeans. You get me?
To be quite honest, I'm livid. Because I'm up to here with ripped jeans:
And now we're ontothis:
A true catastrophic travesty in my eyes. I'll be shanked before you ever catch me in this look, but ya'll go ahead. I'll be sipping tea and critiquing the best Drag Race looks in the meantime. Text me when you're done.
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