Your life is shit because there are FIVE planets in retrograde — but here’s how you can fix it

Have you been dreaming vividly about exes? Losing things like paperwork, debit cards, and your train of thought? Having a weird sense of foreboding about everything and everyone? Yeah, blame Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto because all five are in retrograde. The bad news means that life is totally trash right now.

But the good news is there's a light at the end of this cosmic tunnel, and here's how you can find it:

Aries

Jupiter has been in retrograde since M A R C H, and it's finally about to station direct. During Jupiter retrograde you often asked yourself “what if”, but all of those "what ifs" will disappear tomorrow and be replaced with "so what?" Why bother worrying over things you can't go back and change? Embrace the present.

Taurus

Since March, when Jupiter first went retrograde, it's forced you to slow down and ask yourself difficult questions you've been avoiding or suppressing. Where are you? What are you doing? Do you really want to stay here? As it stations direct, you'll finally find the answer to all of your questions. But you have to trust your gut. That's the tricky part — no second-guessing allowed.

Gemini

Jupiter retrograde is about dealing with old issues, so you’re ready to receive everything you deserve in the future. Well, welcome to the future! Have you fully reflected? Do you know how to tackle things differently? And will you? Or will you slide back into your old, more comfortable ways? Do not forget everything you've been through.

Cancer

What if you had taken that job? Moved to that new place? Stayed together with them? Broken up with them? These are the questions Jupiter retrograde has had you asking but as it stations direct, you can finally forgive yourself for all the things you didn't (or couldn't) do. All you have is the future, and that's more than enough.

Leo

Even though you're a bit of a skeptic when it comes to moon and planets tiiings (Leos are typically realists, how lame!) consider how vivid some of your dreams have been lately. You've been more psychic than usual, and you may not have even noticed. As it leaves retrograde, bring these psychic abilities with you. You're more than human now.

Virgo

Jupiter-Scorpio retrograde was a time to revisit the past and contemplate re-doing the things you regret doing incorrectly (or not at all), but as it stations direct and you leave it behind, you must leave these regrets behind as well. You're not going to hold things against yourself anymore. None of it was ever your fault.

Libra

You may not have liked what you uncovered during Jupiter retrograde, but it was necessary for growth. Now, as Jupiter moves out of retrograde, you'll have to forgive yourself for things you can no longer change and then grow towards the light without apology. You can't hold years-old grudges against yourself forever.

Scorpio

Your problems are much more solvable once they're exposed to the light, and Jupiter retrograde is ideal for that. Now, as it finally moves out of retrograde and you can see these issues for what they really are, you'll be able to conquer all of them. Things are only scary in the dark. And right now, it's all bright lights ahead, baby!

Sagittarius

As Jupiter stations and heads direct again, you’ll emerge more confident and ready to do what’s necessary to lead a fuller, happier life. You’re a flirt. Jupiter is your ruler and when it’s direct, there’s no stopping you — but don't forget about all the lessons you've learned since March. Because if you chose to ignore them, they will haunt you. I promise.

Capricorn

Jupiter retrograde was really hard on your for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it asked you to confront and resolve issues related to addictions and bad habits. Whether it was alcohol, overeating, under-eating, whatever — it's been a trying few months. Now, as it stations direct, you'll want to continue to confront these issues but do not be as hard on yourself when you slip up.

Aquarius

With Jupiter retrograde in Scorpio, you were able to see the error of your ways and open yourself up to change. Now, as it stations direct, you probably feel like you've aged 10 to 20 years. You're wiser than your friends and S.O.s, but do not let this get to your head. Sometimes the brightest ones are the ones who show off the least.

Pisces

How many times have you cried while Jupiter was in retrograde? Don't worry. There is a light at the end of the Jupiter retrograde tunnel. Because it was in Scorpio, you were very in tune to this energy — your emotions in overdrive. But tears are cathartic, and you've finally made it. Don't stop wearing your emotions on your sleeve. They make you beautiful.

@TheTab