This picture of Hailey Baldwin’s engagement ring from Justin Bieber sure explains a lot
Oh, now I get it
by Amanda Ross
I wanna have a wedding. Not get married, just have a wedding. You have permission to be kind of a monster about things like dyed silk, get handed Xanax whenever you want because "seating charts are stressful!", and a man gives you a big-ass diamond just for being yourself. Really, it's the perfect scam.
And now that I've seen Hailey Baldwin's diamond ring, I really understand this whole insane engagement thing. I really do! Hailey doesn't actually want to marry Justin Bieber, with his tiny rodent mustache and pasty body that surely smells like that liquid cheese they serve in ballpark nacho trays — she just wants a wedding! Look at this:
Experts tell me (it's me, I'm the expert) that ring is approximately one thousand carats, and teardrop-shaped.
And that's really rude because that's what I want! So when I get engaged, I'll be forced to look at the lesser-carats on my hand and dream of what could have been. As for Justin's motivations, I can think of just one: finally getting unblocked in Selena's phone.