This picture of Hailey Baldwin’s engagement ring from Justin Bieber sure explains a lot
Oh, now I get it
I wanna have a wedding. Not get married, just have a wedding. You have permission to be kind of a monster about things like dyed silk, get handed Xanax whenever you want because "seating charts are stressful!", and a man gives you a big-ass diamond just for being yourself. Really, it's the perfect scam.
And now that I've seen Hailey Baldwin's diamond ring, I really understand this whole insane engagement thing. I really do! Hailey doesn't actually want to marry Justin Bieber, with his tiny rodent mustache and pasty body that surely smells like that liquid cheese they serve in ballpark nacho trays — she just wants a wedding! Look at this:
Experts tell me (it's me, I'm the expert) that ring is approximately one thousand carats, and teardrop-shaped.
And that's really rude because that's what I want! So when I get engaged, I'll be forced to look at the lesser-carats on my hand and dream of what could have been. As for Justin's motivations, I can think of just one: finally getting unblocked in Selena's phone.
The most popular Instagram posts of 2018 were kind of terrible (and like 60 percent Stormi)
Sorry you didn’t make the cut!
by Nian Hu
Well friends, another year has come and gone! Memories were made, experiences were had, and most importantly, some BOMB Instagram photos were posted. You’re feeling pretty proud of yourself! With the help of VSCO and FaceTune, you finally managed to curate a feed that’s every bit as aesthetically pleasing as the Pinterest board of your…
We texted our one-night stands to ask when we could exchange Christmas gifts and things got MESSY ?
They were *not* excited to hear from us
by Caroline Phinney
The holidays are great because you get to eat as much as you want, binge drink in front of your parents, and flex on all your old high school acquaintances. But they're also great because they encourage us — in our eggnog induced stupors — to message risky things to all the people we definitely…
It’s official! Every single character on Riverdale sucks except for Betty
Betty FINALLY snapped
by Nian Hu
So with Riverdale Season 3 Episode 7, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is that I’m starting to think that the Riverdale writers are actually reading my recaps, or at least spending a lot of time scouring r/riverdale, because they FINALLY decided to stop jumping around madly from one disjointed plotline…