Does he really date black girls or did he just watch Black Panther on Blu-Ray this weekend?
by Ari Bines
Contrary to popular belief, black women like white men. My first love was, unsurprisingly, a 20-something white boy who loved Mario Kart, thought Olive Garden was spicy and loved…watching fart porn (remember, love is unconditional). You could say we got into it multiple times partly because of how racially ignorant he was and knew nothing about dating a black girl. But let's learn from my mistakes! If you're diving into interracial dating, here's how to know he's woke enough to smash.
He'll notice your hairstyle change but doesn't dare touch it without permission
Your man definitely listened to Solange's album (more than once) and finally gets it. Not only will he be the type of guy to compliment any cosmetic changes you've made, but he'll be the one to defend you when his unwoke friend ask about whether or not it's really your hair. "Don't worry about if it's hers or not," he'll say, "She looks beautiful regardless". Aw, hun, you're learning.
He understands why you'd give up your American citizenship to move abroad
I’ve decided to start podcasting, and blogging about my desire to live in Africa. Although I’m grateful, and blessed to live in America. I don’t want to remain in the country that slaughtered my ancestors, and continues to kill my black brothers and sisters without consequence.
— TSLexiLaCroix (@TSLexiLaCroix) April 18, 2018
Racists come in all walks of life, but at least there are some places in the world where the po-po isn't called on you for selling water on a hot summer day. How rude of me to make sure you're hydrated in the heat? I'm from somewhere in Africa, where all we know is sun. And maybe this dude would even come along….
He won't whip out a resume of other black girls he's dated
Unless you ask him, that is. It's the golden question when talking to some new piece of white meat on Tinder. If he doesn't advertise that he only watches Ebony babes on porn sites (it's so unnecessary to voice out loud), it's definitely a good sign. Instead he'll keep quiet and let you find out if he's worth the headache without trying to use exes as "proof."
He dabbing looks dumb as hell when he does it
A man who gets why trying to be hip with the kinfolk's culture looks dumb as hell is a man who can get with me! Unless he's actually paying homage to dance moves like the Dougie, Harlem Shake or Jerkin', he will sit his ass down until further notice.
He knows better than to ask where you're 'really from'
I'm flabbergasted by this. Stranger: where are you from?
Stranger: that's in Africa, right!
So i'm left speechless.😑
— Kreisha Ferguson (@Krelorf) July 9, 2018
When you're first getting to know one another, he doesn't ever presume to know or ask about your "homeland." First of all, how the fuck would I know? He knows it's an ignorant question and keeps it simple. You'll tell him what you realistically know.
He'll be the first to admit he doesn't know a lot about Black history…
Saying (correct) things like, "Every month should be Black History Month!" aren't quite in his vocabulary yet, but you can see them lurking around the corner. Black history wasn't anywhere near his high school social studies textbook outside of slavery, but now he's curious about everything that makes you a melanin goddess. And he better take notes because it's a long list.
…but won't sweat it and seek out the free fucking internet instead to do research
Ta-Nehisi Coates is his go-to woke coach for when the going gets tough in your relationship and he just doesn't "get" why cultural appropriation boils your blood so much. If he has a question about black folk, he won't go to you or his token black friend, but the library. In fact, he might even take a black studies class to educate himself. That's commitment!
Although he's dating you, he'll never try to use a Blaccent around your friends to seem like he's with it
Whoever you're intermixing with is smart enough to know it's disrespectful and making a mockery of your culture just isn't smart if he wants to be with you. He can be his good ol' bland self, because that's what made you sleep with him the first time.
The n-word? What n-word?
Good job, baby.
He's not afraid to meet your extra-ass family who will have absolutely no chill at Thanksgiving
They'll ask all the questions you haven't even gotten around to asking yet, so here's the time to get all the answers. Blacksgiving is where everybody drinks, smokes and acts completely reckless with your non-black boyfriend who's dating you, an independent black woman who honestly doesn't need him for shit. We climbed Lady Liberty for god sakes! Nigga, please!
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