Is jail the move this summer? Twitter seems to think so….
The one move that can’t be unmoved
Now that I've unfollowed everyone with a GoFundMe link in their bio and muted the words collusion, resistance and Katy Perry, Twitter is extremely fun again. My entire feed is memes, Insta famous gays fighting each other, and, weirdly, people confidently tweeting that jail is the move this summer. Is it? The move? I mean, it is a move.
I’m bout to go to jail this summer boring https://t.co/0gAiYubo3D
— RIP LOLA ? (@Trapzilla666) July 11, 2018
Everyone is so hyped that incarcerated people are…flexing their many boxes of Dominos Pizza. Like sure they've got the sides that broke bitches like me can only dream of (those wings are practically $1.50 a drumstick, fuck that) but I have a harsh reality for y'all to face: you can order pizza outside of jail. No, really! You can! Try it right now. If you go on the website and pay them real human dollars, you too can get a pizza brought directly to you. 2018, huh?
Additionally! You too can make a version of a viral video craze from the comfort and relative safety of your own home. This #InMyFeelingsChallenge from within what appears to be a California correctional facility seems like a fun time, and their sky-blue uniforms are definitely an improvement from the stereotypical orange jumpsuits:
— 808s & Car Shakes (@808snCarShakess) July 10, 2018
But you know what's even more fun? When your crusty sweatpants physically fuse to your body because you've been laying in the exact same position on your couch watching 8 hours of Portlandia on a Saturday. In other word: freedom.
This won't turn into a dissertation of the prison industrial complex which, we all know, is Very Bad. I'm extremely happy that some people are having a lovely time in jail, complete with garlic-butter dipping sauce. But you guys, I'm not sure jail is the move this summer. Maybe try another fun idea like getting pregnant or joining the military? Have heard good things.
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