Hey Bigfoot, you tryna smash? ????

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Hey Bigfoot, you tryna smash? ????

The weirdest political news of today

by Harry Shukman

If Bigfoot texted you at 3 AM asking if u up, would you invite him over?

How about now, after seeing this picture of Bigfoot's skrong dick?

Look at Bigfoot's dick! Even with the censor bar over it, it comes down to his knees. Bigfoot's dick puts even the other big dick monsters (Abominable Snowman, Loch Ness Monster, Pete Davidson) to shame.

Bigfoot's girthy dick, which no doubt falls with a heavy splat onto the floor when he takes his pants off – thwack! – has been imagined by Denver Riggleman, a Republican competing in Virginia's 5th Dickstrict (sorry). As an appreciator of the fictional monster peen, Riggleman is running for office and writing a book called Mating Habits of Bigfoot in which he promises: "I hide nothing in this magnificent tome." ??

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@hshukman

Yes, Nicki Minaj is now dating a registered sex offender and convicted killer

Here’s the full court record

by Nian Hu

Nicki Minaj is Instagram official with a 40-year-old man named Kenneth Petty, a level 2 registered sex offender in New York who has been convicted of attempted rape as well as manslaughter. According to the New York Sex Offenders database, Petty was convicted of attempted rape on April 5, 1995. Court records obtained by TMZ…

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An Asian guy took an ancestry DNA test only to be told that he’s ‘100% Asian’

Surprise! You’re Asian!

by Nian Hu

Pretty much everyone I know has taken one of those ancestry DNA tests. And yeah, they're expensive but I can definitely see the appeal. The level of detail in the breakdowns — 56 percent Irish, 20 percent Balkan, 12 percent Iberian — isn't something you could get from a conversation with your grandma. And it's…

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The guy behind the sexist Ocasio-Cortez tweet also tweeted about making ‘hot’ children masturbate

And then tried to defend it

by Nian Hu

Eddie Scarry, a reporter at the Washington Examiner, recently came under fire for a tweet where he posted a photo of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's backside as she was walking, and wrote: "Hill staffer sent me this pic of Ocasio-Cortez they took just now. I'll tell you something: that jacket and coat don't look like a girl…

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