The only person I want to cyberbully just made it harder to cyberbully him

We all attended that middle school meeting where our teachers sat us down and sternly told us to please STOP cyberbullying each other on FormSpring with anonymous questions like “Why are you so ugly? :/” or “What's it like to laugh like a horse?” but I’m just gonna come out and say it: Some people deserve to be cyberbullied. And the only person who really, really deserves it is Elon fucking Musk.

It’s practically a crime to NOT cyberbully Elon Musk, the CEO of a failing tech company and the hero of every libertarian bro in the world. He’s objectively a loser, and if he weren’t a billionaire (thanks to daddy’s emerald mine, how convenient!), he’d be stuffed in a locker right now and bitching on Reddit about how he can’t get laid.

I mean just look at his useless mini submarine, his unhinged "pedo" comment, his juvenile obsession with space, his penchant for working his employees to death, his massive donations to Republicans while claiming to be a "socialist," and his whopping failure to run Tesla as a profitable company. The jokes practically write themselves!

In light of Elon Musk's many personal and professional failings, a number of spoof accounts cropped up on Twitter.

Unfortunately, Elon Musk is a petty bitch who can't take a goddamn joke. Instead of, uhhh, taking the criticism to heart and NOT working his employees to the point of exhaustion, he decided to summon the powers of Elon Musk (read: lots of money) to shut down the haters.

Twitter — which, by the way, hasn't been able to remove ANY of the assorted Nazis and racists and white supremacists that enjoy congregating on its platform and spewing hate speech — was somehow able to immediately shut down every single account that has "Elon Musk" in its handle.

The first to go was Italian Elon Musk.

Sooo let me get this straight. According to Twitter, it's totally fine to be a Nazi and literally advocate for genocide, but it is 100 percent not okay to make fun of Elon Musk! Got it, that makes sense.

Honestly, take me back to the good ol' days of FormSpring and Ask.fm so I can ask Elon Musk, "Why are you SUCH a fucking pussy?" and make him cry in his bedroom. I don't care if that makes me a cyberbully and gets me suspended from eighth grade — the man deserves to feel bad about himself.

@nian_hu