Did you know every time you send an Android user an Emoji, they see this shit?
The real reason to never text them
by Nian Hu
It's not a secret that there's something terribly wrong with people who use Androids. But many of us have failed to grasp the true depths of their depravity. We here at babe can reveal something truly horrific — although be warned, this is not for sensitive eyes.
Observe the horror:
That's right — every time an Android user sends an emoji, they maliciously unleash a demon into the world, a yellow-faced specter of the night with cold and unfeeling eyes.
Studies have suggested that these are the visions that greet us when we pass from this world to the next, delivering the kiss of death.
Even more blasphemous is Android's representation of the animal kingdom. These noble beasts, once revered by men, have been reduced to a shallow caricature.
These grotesque renditions laugh in the face of our Creator. In particular, observe the so-called warthog.
This is bordering on sacrilege. Is there no end to the debauchery of Android users?
Every girl needs a trap phone
Even if you’re not actually, y’know, trapping
by Amanda Ross
I have this friend. For the sake of our story, let's call her…Janet Vasquez. I'm not changing her name to protect the innocent because she thrives on attention (one of the many reasons we're friends) and because she's definitely not innocent. Me and Dammit Janet at a bar circa 2011, moments before she ran away…
BEHOLD: Pumpkin Spice Booze, because Pumpkin Spice Lattes are over and they haven’t invented Pumpkin Spice Cocaine yet
Catch me snorting nutmeg
by Amanda Ross
There is nothing wrong with a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Like astrology, Lush bath bombs, and any novel written by a woman, PSLs are in a special club of things that are objectively good and fun but hated on by dudes and girls who haven't yet realized that dudes who hate those things are garbage. But…
Your weekly horoscopes say everyone’s feeling particularly rebellious this week
Here’s what to expect
by Caroline Phinney
There's something about these final dog days of August that bring with them an energizing, revitalizing feel. Fall is on the way, which means it's almost time to cuff up or miss out. With Lilith in Capricorn, you'll be ready to make the first move this week. Good luck.AriesIt’s finally time to relax for you…