Beyoncé’s Vogue cover is just as ethereally gorgeous as we expected
This is the only thing on my vision board
by Amanda Ross
The only thing worse than a Monday is a muggy August Monday, but Beyoncé just made it bearable in a way that only she — and her perfectly dewy skin and pearls of wisdom can. Bey covers the almighty September issue featuring a beautifully maternal (that's the vibe I get! Like Mother Earth?) photoshoot conceived by Condé Nast creative director Raul Martinez and shot by wunderkind photographer Tyler Mitchell.
And it wasn't just filled with glowing photos of Beyoncé either. her interview took the form of lengthy captions, and she touched on everything from motherhood to activism to body image.
On accepting her postpartum body
"I think it’s important for women and men to see and appreciate the beauty in their natural bodies. That’s why I stripped away the wigs and hair extensions and used little makeup for this shoot.
To this day my arms, shoulders, breasts, and thighs are fuller. I have a little mommy pouch, and I’m in no rush to get rid of it. I think it’s real. Whenever I’m ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be."
On being a role model for the next generation
"When I first started, 21 years ago, I was told that it was hard for me to get onto covers of magazines because black people did not sell. Clearly that has been proven a myth. Not only is an African American on the cover of the most important month for Vogue, this is the first ever Vogue cover shot by an African American photographer.
It’s important to me that I help open doors for younger artists. There are so many cultural and societal barriers to entry that I like to do what I can to level the playing field, to present a different point of view for people who may feel like their voices don’t matter."
Now let's all please go buy the print edition so we can continue getting touchstone features like this for years to come, okay?
Um, why are people so excited to beat up their future kids?
They don’t even have children and they can’t wait to spank them senseless
by Harry Shukman
Locals, as I regret to inform you, have gone too far this time. They've had horse girl energy and late-night "adventures" to Sonic, and everyone thought that was cute, but it ends now because they really want to hit their children. They don't even have kids yet, but that hasn't stopped them from fantasizing about…
This girl asked cops to not arrest her because she’s a pretty, ‘very clean white girl’ cheerleader
Bitch blew through a stop sign at 60 mph!
by Amanda Ross
A soon-to-be 33-year-old woman from South Carolina is not helping the reputation of white girls everywhere when she was stopped by police for a litany of traffic-related offenses including plowing through a stop sign at 60 miles per hour, high and drunk as fuck. It was what she said when she got pulled over, though,…
My new role model is this girl who sends ‘blowjob stats’ to guys and deep-throats in the 97th percentile
Sadly, she only swallows 91 percent of the time
by Nian Hu
You might think of yourself as an empowered dick-sucking hoe — but unless you've carefully timed each blowjob, calculated the exact percentage of times that you swallowed, and shared these statistics with strange guys on Tinder, then you ain't shit.All hoes bow down before our new queen. Brought to us by Reddit user SmItHeAD11 who…