Um, why are people so excited to beat up their future kids?

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Um, why are people so excited to beat up their future kids?

They don’t even have children and they can’t wait to spank them senseless

Locals, as I regret to inform you, have gone too far this time. They've had horse girl energy and late-night "adventures" to Sonic, and everyone thought that was cute, but it ends now because they really want to hit their children. They don't even have kids yet, but that hasn't stopped them from fantasizing about beating their fictional offspring senseless.

It's become a trend on The Odyssey for tools to publish articles about why they're super stoked on hitting the children they don't even have yet. There are countless articles about wanting to spank hypothetical kids! Look at these horrors:

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Why will nobody spank their kids!

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Call me old-fashioned, but when I look back I'm thankful that my family hit me on my infant ass

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Hey, Liberals! Why are you so scared to hit your kids?

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If being chained to a kennel outdoors is good enough for my dog, it's good enough for my kid

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When *I* have kids, I will be sure to beat the shit out of them to make them love me (from 22 Things About Our Generation)

If the thing you're most excited about having kids is the opportunity to hit them, maybe don't have kids?? Just a thought.

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