It is time to rise up against The Blue Eyes

This is not a rant about Eurocentric beauty standards. It's not taking a stand against a particular facial ideal or pushing back against unrealistic expectations. This story is, like all things in this world, about me. ;-)

Ask any person with light eyes what color they are. No, physically stand up and ask someone around you. What did they say? I'll tell you what they didn't say: blue or green or hazel. It was probably some variation on "Haha I don't really know :) Sometimes they're the clear azure of a Mykonos sky, sometimes they darken to the dusky midnight of a midsummer rainstorm! Haha they look green in some lighting :)))." Alright, bitch.

You know what color my eyes are? Brown. And anyone with brown eyes will say the exact same thing. There's no poetic, overwrought comparisons to the honeyed hue of single-barrel bourbon glinting in a crystal glass or unblemished mahogany illuminated by the morning's rays. Nope, just brown! Sure, we've got Brown-Eyed Girl but come on — that song is older than my mom.

And that's why I call upon you, my fellow Brown Eyes. Our time is now, but only if we choose to seize it. No longer will the Blue Eyes and the Green Eyes and the Haha They Just Change Colors In The Sun! Eyes rule over Tumblr edits and song lyrics and descriptions of protagonists in dystopian YA novels. Today, we take what is rightfully ours. We have the prettiest eyes with the prettiest color variations, and we also have the bonus of our eye color not being associated with neither huskies nor Nazis!

But we can only reclaim the throne if we work together. Layer that shimmery eyeshadow, coat those lashes, FaceTune yourself to fuck and when someone asks you your eye color, go off on a description so vivid even Hemingway would be like, "Hmm too much, let's edit that down."

Our time is now, my deep-irised family. Rise!