An exhaustive guide to every pet Lena Dunham’s adopted, abandoned, loved and killed
It’s surprisingly hard to keep up!
One of the greatest mysteries in the universe is exactly how many animals Lena Dunham owns. Just how many pets do you have, lady?? A seemingly straightforward query, it's complicated by the fact that nearly every other day something tragic and terrible happens to one of her pets.
From death to abandonment, many horrible outcomes await the creatures that are under Lena's care. Let's take a quick look at every single one of Lena Dunham's pets — including the dead ones, the abandoned ones, and the ones that she still owns…for now.
Poor, poor Lamby. This was the start of Lena Dunham's pet-related drama, and the moment people realized that she was not only shitty towards POC, but also really shitty towards animals. She claimed that Lamby "suffered terrible abuse as a pup" which is why she was forced to abandon him, but…it turns out that wasn't exactly true. Like, at ALL. Let's be real: she gave up her own dog because she just didn't want him anymore. Not a great look!
Well, at least Lamby suffered a better fate than Bowie. Bowie, a 13-year-old Yorkshire Terrier, was the most recent tragedy. The unfortunate half-blind canine died suddenly a few days ago. We wrote about Bowie before where we observed that the dog looked HIGHLY uncomfortable to be anywhere near Lena's vanilla-complexioned face. Now it all makes sense. RIP Bowie.
But wait — this isn't the first time an animal has died suddenly under Lena's watchful gaze! Jesus Christ, how many pets does this woman have? In June, her Sphynx cat named Gia Marie passed away. Lena said the death was "sudden and beyond anyone's control." What the hell is going on over there, Lena?? Why are all of these animals dying suddenly and unexpectedly?
Oh, but don't you worry. Lena also has a collection of living animals that she can rub her oily cheeks against. Lucky them…? One of her not-yet-dead and not-yet-abandoned dogs is a small brown poodle named Karen D'Amango.
And then there's another slightly-less-brown poodle named Susan Simmons. They're both super cute but, uhhh, what's with the weirdly human names, Lena? Is it so you can say things like, "Aww, Susan Simmons took a massive shit on my carpet." Yeah that's gonna be a huge NO from me.
Okay wait, what the fuck. This is not — I reiterate, this is NOT — the same Sphynx cat that had died in June. No this is an entirely different Sphynx cat. And it is, as far as I know, still alive.
There's ANOTHER one of these creepy hairless felines wandering around her house?? This one's still alive, right? God, I mean I like cats just as much as the next person, but that's a LOT of wrinkly cats under one roof. And what an oddly specific breed of cat to continue purchasing en masse, over and over again, to replace all the dead ones.
Lena — I have no idea what you're doing or why you're doing it. Perhaps she has a massive void in her life to fill, and the only thing that does the trick is an endless stream of small brownish dogs and Sphynx cats. To each their own, I suppose!
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