Your weekly horoscopes are here, and this is what it means for your cuffing season


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Your weekly horoscopes are here, and this is what it means for your cuffing season

Baby, let the games begin!

Ah, cuffing season. You're either dreading it with every molecule of your being, or so eager for it to begin you're frothing at the mouth. For the uninitiated, cuffing season is the time of year during which everyone wants to get into relationships — it's in direct opposition to summer, the season for free-for-all hookups and flimsy, cleavage-enhancing tops. If you want more information on the cuffing season phenomenon as a whole, read this handy guide and cuffing season schedule yours truly put together.

But if you're looking for the exact who/what/where/when, I'm happy to announce it's written in the stars and written below.


Am I correct in guessing quite a few cuffing seasons have come and gone without any real action? Yeah, I thought so. You've always been a very self-focused person — not selfish, just into your own advancement and improvement and happiness, and you just haven't had the time and energy to invest into another person. This fall, though, expect to meet someone who's been doing the same thing (probably another fire sign, and you might have already met). It's like you guys have been separately working on yourselves to be your best possible versions for when you meet each other. Here's the thing, though: it's critical you treat this person as your equal — not as a mountain to conquer, or a project to complete.


You are a relationship person if ever there was one. Even when you're not one half of a couple, you're wishing you were — aaand that's where the problems start. Every interaction is treated like an interview, every date like a stepping stone to bae-dom. Have you ever been out with someone without sky-high expectations and pressure? If you're going to get anywhere this cuffing season, that'll be the key. Don't plan the wedding until after date number three, okay?


Stop ruining your own happiness, my god! You're pathological! The second something starts going right in your love life (well, anywhere in your life), you panic and blow it up yourself. On one hand, I understand your logic: you're ruining it yourself because you're scared something else will wreck it first and you hate being out of control. But do you know how many potentially amazing things your fear has ruined? This fall, you need to stop backseat driving and let things happen. Maybe you'll crash and burn, sure. It's a possibility. But maybe you'll open yourself up to the purest happiness you've ever known — and risk makes the reward that much better.


Here's the thing about you, my tiny lovely baby crab: you are so good at giving your friends advice but sooo bad at applying it to your own life. Here's a game plan for you: When you're spiraling about your romantic prospects, imagine what you'd say to your bestie with the same problem. It's fine to wallow for a bit and be sad, but you've got too much good going on to sit in and wistfully watch rom-coms while listlessly swiping through apps. Put on something HOT and go meet your friends. Dance like nobody's watching, and I can promise you the right ones will be watching.


You're a Leo, I get it. You've got a hyper-specific list 10,000 items long for what you want in a partner (taller than 6'3" but shorter than 6'5", has a dog who wears a bandana, political but not annoying about it) and it's made you reject (or subconsciously reject) pretty much everyone you've ever come in contact with. I've got good news and bad news: you're going to meet someone this month, and they're not going to check off a single thing on your list. Don't panic, though. Listen to this: they won't check off anything on your almighty list because they're ticking off boxes you don't yet realize you have. They're better than your fantasy, but you won't realize it unless you extract yourself from your preconceived ideals and let yourself be open to any/every possibility.


Your cuffing season might go a little bit differently. This fall, you'll be visited by ghosts of exes past. But don't panic yet because they're not necessarily around to win you back. They're going to hit you up but it really is more of a A Christmas Carol vibe, there to teach you lessons about what you want and don't want in a partner. You'll be forced to measure your own growth against there's and reassess what you value. Don't completely close yourself off to reconciliation, though. You just might find that you and an ex have grown parallel to one another, and the things that kept you apart in the past no longer exist.


You're in for a doozy, Libra. I know you're all about perception: how you and your partner look together, what other people think of them, what your kids will look like. This cuffing season, you're going to meet someone who might be THE ONE…but they're going to not be your type physically. This is a cosmic test, and it's going to force you to sort your priorities out. What's more important to you, Libra? Someone who looks "right " in public, or someone who completes you on every level in private? Choose wisely, because you might not have a second chance.


Your success this cuffing season is all based on your ability to do the thing that comes least naturally to you: trusting people. Not unlike Gemini, you refuse to leave well enough alone and like to ruin your own romantic happiness. Yours, though, comes in the form of distrust. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it pushes the people who want to care about you away. This fall, fight every urge to go creeping on their ex's cousin's sister's Instagram page and just let things happen naturally.


So here's the thing, Sag: you don't have to get cuffed if you don't want to. I know it can feel weird, like everyone in the entire universe is pairing up and leaving you solo — but if solo's how you want to be, don't give in to the pressure. Sure, being in a partnership can be amazing and fulfilling, but so is being alone. Don't get with someone just because it feels like "the thing" to do, something you've fallen victim to in the past. You're so independent in every other respect, why follow the crowd on this one?


I'm really sorry if you wanted a different outcome, but this fall your bae will be…you. Yeah, yeah, I know. There's a good reason for this, though: you are a fixer — of people, of projects. But you've never really made yourself a project the way you have others. Consider this the universe telling you to treat yourself. Spend the energy you would have put into making a partner "perfect" in your eyes and channel that into yourself. What do you want to improve, achieve, change, magnify? Not to get all Sex and the City on you, but the relationship you have with yourself really is the most important one of all.


You want a partner so badly…but that's all you really know. And that's kind of the problem, isn't it? Desperately, you want someone to share your absolute wealth of emotions with. Someone who can fix you when you're sad, be the inspiration behind your happiness, your confidant, your muse. But you've got to start thinking specifically about who you want to share your life with and what you're giving to and getting from each other. Your romantic ideas are still kind of 2-D, fueled by romantic movies and writing and Tumblr posts. The real thing is coming and it will be great, but it will also be painful and messy. But that's what makes it real.


You've been giving and giving for years to the wrong people. How often have you invested so completely, so selflessly in a person only to have them take advantage of your openness? How many times have you then forgiven those same people only for them to do it again? It may seem like you're cursed when it comes to love, but all those assholes have only prepped you for the extremely good thing coming your way later this year. I know you like assholes though, so the key to this will be not overlooking someone as pure as you.