Did 3OH!3 predict hoeism’s meteoric rise?
It was definitely ahead of its time
Allow me to paint a picture for you: it's the summer of 2008, the sun is beating down on the ginormous parking lot in which Warped Tour is held. A massive crowd of sweating teenagers in ass-cheek-revealing shorts from Ruehl (OMG remember Ruehl? That's a story for another time…) gathers in front of a main stage. A 15-year-old me, armed with a single chunk of purple Manic Panic'd hair I was desperately trying to hide from my mom, whacks a crowd-amping beachball in the air and screams along to the lyrics, Don't trust a hoe, never trust a hoe, don't trust a hoe, don't trust me. Little did that gangly virgin know, we were but a decade away from a Hoe Renaissance, ushered in by that very song.
Did I need to give you 128 words of scene-setting before getting to the point? Yes, because it's critical you understand the societal impact of this one song: Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3 ubiquitized (not a word) the word hoe (the word of the moment) amongst middle class white women. The Colorado-based band of unidentifiable genre was one of the first to publicly be like, "Yes, I am a hoe and I don't care." Did years of screaming the chorus over the censored version at school dances get us comfortable with the idea of self-identifying as slutty ol' hoebags? I think so. And if a few decades when we're looking back at this time as the second sexual revolution, right up there with the 60s, we'll thank the visionary heroes who had millions of high school sophomores proudly tell everyone they know via MySpace bulletin that they were also hoes. We owe them our lives.
Yes, it’s possible: Here’s how to stay friends with your exes
Don’t be That Couple
by Caroline Phinney
Personally, I do not condone remaining friends with an ex but occasionally you have no other choice unless you're willing to risk losing all your friends along with them. Maybe you've been dating since high school, maybe your sorority and his frat mixed in college, or maybe your post-college lives are just so deeply intertwined…
You’re in the outback and this kangaroo slaps your girl’s ass. What do you do?
She’s not your girlfriend anymore, mate
by Nian Hu
You (22 M) are in a wonderful relationship with your girlfriend (21 F) of five years. You adore her to pieces and you intend to ask for her hand in marriage soon. She is your light, your universe, your everything. And one day she will be your wife and mother of your children. You take…
How soon is too soon to say ‘I love you,’ and other things you’re definitely stressing over
There are rules, people
by Caroline Phinney
Do you ever remember embarrassing moments from your past and feel an intense full body cringe come on, as if you were back in it, living that exact moment again? Like the time in the 6th grade you told Tyler you had a crush on him, and then he told the entire class you were…