Don’t let anyone with a Snapchat filter profile pic tell you shit about life

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Don’t let anyone with a Snapchat filter profile pic tell you shit about life

Unfortunately, they’ve always got the most to say

Even though Instagram stories are the astroid shower that put an end to the Snapchat epoch, I still like the app. It's great for taking and sending nudes, spying on my friends via Snap Maps, and seeing what I'd look like if God actually gave a fuck while creating me — filters! They're amazing. But there's a line: In the year 2018, it is a crime punishable by death to have a profile picture (or a dating app picture) with your face completely obscured by filter. Actually, let me amend that. Whatever, people can make it their profile picture. They can make it their obituary photo, I don't care! But I will be damned if a girl with 3/4 of her face contorted by a cat muzzle is going to tell me shit about life.

Much like making your Twitter handle @dongslayer420 instead of your real name, the Snapchat Profile Pic, forthwith known as SPP, affords a user some anonymity. If you they DM you "your ugly x" and you want to track them down to fight (obviously the only acceptable response), you wouldn't be able to pick them out of a crowd thanks to the face-distorting filter! The other component of this scam is the fact that it is indeed 2018. It's been like, four years since filters came out and that might as well be four decades in Internet time. You don't need to listen to the opinions of anyone who's digitally stuck in the 80s. (Side note, how insane is it that the 80s were ~40 years ago? I wanna die, hbu?)

Like I said, it's 2018. Nowadays, we lie to ourselves about our appearances with artfully placed FaceTune so delicate forget that's not what we aaaactually look like, sending us into a spiral of reverse body dysmorphia — not puppy faces. Grow up!