Don’t let anyone with a Snapchat filter profile pic tell you shit about life
Unfortunately, they’ve always got the most to say
Even though Instagram stories are the astroid shower that put an end to the Snapchat epoch, I still like the app. It's great for taking and sending nudes, spying on my friends via Snap Maps, and seeing what I'd look like if God actually gave a fuck while creating me — filters! They're amazing. But there's a line: In the year 2018, it is a crime punishable by death to have a profile picture (or a dating app picture) with your face completely obscured by filter. Actually, let me amend that. Whatever, people can make it their profile picture. They can make it their obituary photo, I don't care! But I will be damned if a girl with 3/4 of her face contorted by a cat muzzle is going to tell me shit about life.
Much like making your Twitter handle @dongslayer420 instead of your real name, the Snapchat Profile Pic, forthwith known as SPP, affords a user some anonymity. If you they DM you "your ugly x" and you want to track them down to fight (obviously the only acceptable response), you wouldn't be able to pick them out of a crowd thanks to the face-distorting filter! The other component of this scam is the fact that it is indeed 2018. It's been like, four years since filters came out and that might as well be four decades in Internet time. You don't need to listen to the opinions of anyone who's digitally stuck in the 80s. (Side note, how insane is it that the 80s were ~40 years ago? I wanna die, hbu?)
Like I said, it's 2018. Nowadays, we lie to ourselves about our appearances with artfully placed FaceTune so delicate forget that's not what we aaaactually look like, sending us into a spiral of reverse body dysmorphia — not puppy faces. Grow up!
Aziz Ansari talks about the sexual misconduct allegations against him for the first time
‘I hope I’ve become a better person’
In a gig on Monday night, Aziz Ansari talked for the first time about the allegations of sexual misconduct made against him last year. During a massively oversubscribed gig at Village Underground in New York, Ansari said he hopes he has "become a better person." Vulture first reported the comments. The site said Ansari led…
Instagram now tells people when you screenshot, so just throw away your whole damn phone
Who thought this was a good idea!?
by Caroline Phinney
Lately, Instagram has sucked for a lot of reasons: posts are no longer in chronological order, influencers are reportedly being screwed out of money, and now, on top of everything else, Instagram alerts someone when you take a screenshot. Is nothing sacred?! Long gone are the days of snapping pics of your ‘friends’ and then…
People are slamming Bumble for an ‘abusive’ ad campaign involving painting endangered elephants
“No one should even consider climbing on an elephant’s back”
by Nian Hu
Bumble recently launched in India and celebrated with a launch party at City Palace in Jaipur. Instagram posts and stories reveal that the CEO Whiteny Wolfe Herd and various celebrities were in attendance. Several photos of the event show elephants being ridden with the Bumble logo painted on their faces. According to PETA Executive Vice…