People who watch all your Instagram Stories but never like your posts are the fakest bitches on this planet

I'm not stupid, I know only 25 percent of Instagram is sharing cool photos of your life with friends. The rest is dedicated to creeping hot bloggers who FaceTune their babies, stalking your high school enemies to make sure you're still better than them, and obsessively refreshing the activity feed to catch the moment in which your boyfriend likes a model's thotty pic so you can start a fight over it because things are getting a little stale. I know that! But what I don't know is how so many people can watch my story every day and then just refuse to support me and my dreams by liking my posts.

We're not talking about random creepers here, either. I'm specifically addressing the core followers, the one who watch everything you post pretty much the second you upload it. And then when it's time for the team to rally and validate your appearance with some emotionally uplifting likes, those motherfuckers are nowhere to be found. So now I'm taking a stand: I see you bitches! And it's time to pull your weight or GTFO.

Because I have a pathological inability to let things go and I'll take even kindergarten grudges to my grave, I'm going to walk you through the extent of these micro-betrayals. My Instagram account is for "business" because like Jay-Z, I'm not a businessman — I'm a business, man! Actually, I just wanted it so I could get analytics on all my content. And boooy was it revealing. Below, you can see exactly how many people viewed some of my Insta stories last week. It's usually around 350-500.

AND HERE, you can see how many times my two actual posts from this week have been displayed on someone's feed. This is how many people saw my photos and decided to either engage with them or keep scrolling:

So almost 1,000 people viewed that pic. Guess how many liked it? Hint: Not almost 1,000 :). If you're reading this and thinking to yourself, "Who cares this much about attention online, is this bitch crazy?" and "Is this all one big scam to promote her Instagram?" I say yes! To both! But I'm also very brave and strong for finally calling out the fakes who lurk in the darkest corner of our profiles, hating from afar. I'm the only one willing to take a stand for this ultimate form of betrayal, rivaled only by jealous hater Judas snaking Jesus, the world's first influencer.

Also I'm beautiful but don't know it.