Stop trying to silence the truth! Timmy Thick is actually Jack Antonoff

tips

news  • 

Stop trying to silence the truth! Timmy Thick is actually Jack Antonoff

How have you not seen this

I am being pursued by the FBI, the CIA and the NSA for uncovering this classified information, and must publish before it's too late! The world must know! Timmy Thick is actually Jack Antonoff!! How can we have been so blind as to not notice that they are the SAME PERSON?

Here, read this proof, before the agents get me… the thiccest guy in the world is actually the lead singer of Bleachers and the lover of Lorde! Ahh!! They've busted down my front door and come to take me away!!!!

Quick, before they lock me up in military prison! Look for yourself – the chubbiness of the cheeks, the curliness of the lips, the sadboiness of the haircut! That look in the eyebrows of 'oh what me, a thicc icon?' It's the truth!

One more thing! Why do you think Timmy Thick closed down his account earlier this year, in the same month when Jack Antonoff produced Lorde's album (which didn't get one Grammy)!!

You must! Spread! The tru…..

<<< END TRANSMISSION >>>

Oh, and become an official babe member today

Recommended posts

• Share this post if you admire bravery, ignore if you’re a coward and despise children

• Put this statue of a saint on Drag Race and watch her win Season 11

• Did ‘Jessie’s Girl’ by Rick Springfield predict the rise of incels?

• We journeyed to find the truth about TimmyThick, the so-called ‘Harvard experiment’ viral star

@hshukman