Finally Kavanaugh catches a break! It’s National Drink Beer Day!

When I saw that #NationalDrinkBeer was trending on Twitter, I automatically assumed that some exhausted and long-suffering woman decided to channel her frustration and rage at yesterday's events through the medium of humor, fabricating this fake holiday to mock Kavanaugh's self-reported adoration for beer.

Imagine my abject shock when I realized that National Drink Beer is an actual holiday, and not one that was facetiously invented after the shitshow that we all helplessly witnessed yesterday where a real-life Supreme Court nominee blustered on and on about his love of beer.

Given that he was being questioned for allegations of getting blackout drunk and sexually assaulting women, it seemed like an odd and not particularly wise decision to continually reference a passion for yeast-fermented alcoholic beverages. As a matter of fact, some would even say that his outspoken fondness for drinking beer is exactly what undermines his credibility.

But hey, at least nobody can ever doubt that Kavanaugh REALLY likes beer. "I liked beer," he screamed incoherently at the senator who asked him a completely different question. "I still like beer! Hanging out and having some beers with friends, which I gladly do, and which I fully embrace."

Kudos to Kavanaugh for defending his right to crack open a cold one with the boys! Pretty sure enjoying beer is one of those fundamental rights enshrined in the Constitution — you know, along with the fundamental right for Yale Law School graduates to hold a seat on the Supreme Court regardless of accusations of sexual misconduct and misogyny.

So, on this blessed National Drink Beer Day in the year of our Lord 2018, you can catch me nonstop chugging an entire gallon of beer until the horrific and re-traumatizing events from yesterday have been successfully erased from my head.

@nian_hu