babe • Oct 02 2018

This emo animal marks territory with tears and I DEMAND to know who broke its heart

I have never identified more with an animal

Let me ask you a question. What's your favorite animal? If you said some shit like a horse or tiger or dolphin or something, leave this website right now. You are bad and your opinions are wrong because none of those animals can possibly hold a candle to the most relatable creature of them all: the dik-dik.

The dik-dik is a small antelope species hailing from the bushlands of eastern and southern Africa. And yes, its name is quite literally pronounced "dick dick." Supposedly, it earned this unfortunate moniker from the alarm calls that females make. Can you imagine that? An entire herd of tiny antelopes scampering on their spindly legs rapidly screaming, "DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK!" What a sight to behold.

The dik-dik is so fucking precious that it's hard to believe that this animal exists in the harsh wilderness, and not curled up at home with me where it belongs. Watch as this 19 centimeter tall deer/rabbit thing twitches its tiny tubular nose and scampers about on its gangly limbs. Like, are you kidding me? Its massive eyes are looking RIGHT into my soul and asking me to adopt it.

Ready to fall even deeper in love with these graceful little antelopes? First of all, they mate for life. If that's not #couplegoals, then I don't know what is! Unlike other antelopes which typically live in herds, dik-diks exclusively hang out with their significant other. No friends, no problem. In fact, they don't even want to spend time with their own CHILDREN. Dik-diks will literally kick out their own offspring after seven months. Bye, bitch!

Even better? These adorable animals mark their territory with TEARS. Yes, you heard that right! These tiny fuckers aren't just cute as fuck — they're also brimming with sorrow, angst, and despair. And who can blame 'em? Life in the African savannah is hard! You have to scrounge for things to eat, you have to run away from hungry leopards, AND you have to find someone who's willing to put up with your shit for the rest of your life. Damn, who WOULDN'T cry in that situation?

@nian_hu

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