Avocados aren’t vegan, you absolute imbeciles

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Avocados aren’t vegan, you absolute imbeciles

How dare you call yourself ‘conscious’

Avocados definitely aren't "vegan," and I'm surprised none of you knew this in the first place, since you seem to spend every waking second Googling, preaching and breathing veganism.

Let me guess? You thought avocados just grew and pollinated themselves? Typical millennial mindset, if you ask me. But a new video from the BBC quiz show QI might shed some much-needed light on the situation.

It's the same reason vegans can't eat honey. Because honey can't exist without bees, and these bees you claim to "love" so much are being used in unnatural ways. They are placed on the back of trucks, driven long distances with zero bathroom breaks, and tossed over to the crops like second thoughts — bodies shriveled and ready for harvesting.

Some even travel from almond orchards in one part of the US to avocado orchards in another, torn from their friends, family and the place they once called home. Broccoli, cherries, cucumbers, lettuce, none of these things are vegan. Bees are experiencing travel-induced stress, people!

Have you even seen Rotten on Netflix? Because if you're ordering avo toast at brunch on Sunday, you're no better than the bloody-mouthed meat eaters you so often criticize.

Go right ahead and call yourself plant-based, but don't you dare try and pass as vegan. The real vegans will be watching.

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@carolinephinney

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