Taylor Swift asks foot fetishists to please vote this November


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Taylor Swift asks foot fetishists to please vote this November

The rest of the world was black-and-white…but our feet were in screaming color

Tayliberal Swift is the queen of virtually every demographic: horse girls, coastal gays, wine moms, drunken frat boys, wedding DJs, long-haul truckers, people who still watch The Voice, and cat shelter volunteers. But this morning, she snatched up another massive section of the population who are sure to send her straight to the top of the charts once again: foot fetishists.

After she came out swinging for Tennessee Democrats last week, Tay's been pimping out civic duty hard. Her first Instagram post about who she's voting for resulted in tens of thousands of new voter registrations, and she even took a break from being the most-awarded woman in American Music Awards history to ask people to vote. Oh, then she said she was working on a new album. And even though Republicans are literally setting her merchandise on fire, Taylor's still trying to get the word out.

This morning, she loosed another vote-or-die IG shot but it's…a little different:

Her captions reads:

Something I wish I knew about when I was 18 and voting for the first time: ✨EARLY VOTING✨. It makes it so quick and easy to go and cast your vote before November 6. Early voting starts TODAY in Tennessee and goes to Nov 1 ?? You can check out your state’s early voting dates at the link in my bio.

Like, okay. I guess. Taylor's known for her high-profile Fourth of July parties complete with hundreds of professional, hi-res photos featuring patriotic-pattered swimwear but yeah let's go with the feet. The second photo on the carousel is a FujiMax instant photo (she's the spokeswoman so this is MEGA synergy!) of her on July 4, 2018 and I know this because she was vacationing with Joe Alwyn wearing that exact star-spangled dress from Reformation which I saw in pap shots and no I am not crazy!!!!

I wondered why she didn't make the innocuous selfie the first photo but then I realized something.

We know Miss Swift is an incredibly savvy business woman and this is probably another one of her genius calculations. If you start typing any female celebrity's name into Google Images, feet always auto-fills in afterwards. She knows this will pop up first for the millions of weirdos searching for Taylor Swift's feet and they'll immediately be hit with a post urging them to vote! They'll turn Tennessee blue and then they'll buy Reputation on iTunes and then balance will finally be restored to this planet. UGH, HER MIND!!!!!!!!!!