The men of Twitter are complaining about how hard it is to live life as a man and…I have to laugh!
They’re being genuine
Picture this: You're a woman walking alone down a dark street at night, and there is a man following very closely behind you.
A number of thoughts are circling through your head: Can I get to my keys without him noticing? If he seems me grab them, will he jump me? Do you think he's more of the kill-you-and-stuff-your-corpse-in-the-oven type? Or the try-and-sleep-with-you type? Or maybe just a garden variety "hey-beautiful-no?-fuck-you-then-ugly-whore" type!
At the same time, he's thinking: I AM THE VICTIM.
And this is just one example of something the men commenting this Twitter thread about "The down-sides of being a man" have in common. Writer Caitlin Moran started a thread asking men to weigh in on what's plaguing them because really, we don't hear from men enough. Men are really underrepresented in pretty much everything, you know? While there were a few valid complaints about toxic masculinity (though really, we're all victims to that), it was mostly whining about expensive candles, bathrooms, and body hair.
Men. What are the downsides of being a man?
Other downsides include such harrowing things as…."cocks, balls, beards and flatulence." Because girls don't fart!!
Having to sometimes look away from playgrounds
For fear someone might think they are preying on their child. There are so many other places you can look! Just ease her mind this one time, Jesus.
Crossing the street
Walking past women so we aren't afraid of dying
I know, I know. This one sounds like a real inconvenience.
Feeling bad about being a real dickhole to women
It's right up there with being bald and not going to the doctor or washing your asshole because you'll look gay.
Price of razors
Meanwhile, ours are way more expensive than men's, and we're expected to be hairless from the eyebrows down.
Baldness FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Reassuring women they're not an 'attacker'
This was "the only one" he could think of.
Not being able to use women's bathrooms
Want to wait in line for the 20 other women using this ~magical~ toilet first?
Not getting to dance
Because I've never met a tall woman!
Not getting flowers
Go buy yourself flowers, Jamie. Who do you think is buying them for us?
Being a walking jar opener
Everyone knows you whack the jar on the side. You're lucky to be getting credit for doing absolutely nothing.
Being blamed for everything
Maybe if you didn't do it in the first place.
Not experiencing female camaraderie
Has this man ever seen a single chick flick? We all hate each other. Meanwhile, it feels like every movie Michael Bay has ever made is about a group of rogue men banding together to save society from a robot snake or whatever. There's always a group of guys in movies like 2 Gun 2 Furious and Gun 5: Enter the Gun.
Missing out on sexy nightwear
Not getting to use the women's locker rooms
So next time a man asks you how your day is going and you think about bringing up the four times you almost cried out of fear for your life — the guy you thought was going to push you in front of a moving subway train, the one you thought was chasing you down the street — pause, think, and then ask him how his day was instead.
He may have had to open a jar for someone.
Aziz Ansari talks about the sexual misconduct allegations against him for the first time
‘I hope I’ve become a better person’
In a gig on Monday night, Aziz Ansari talked for the first time about the allegations of sexual misconduct made against him last year. During a massively oversubscribed gig at Village Underground in New York, Ansari said he hopes he has "become a better person." Vulture first reported the comments. The site said Ansari led…
Instagram now tells people when you screenshot, so just throw away your whole damn phone
Who thought this was a good idea!?
by Caroline Phinney
Lately, Instagram has sucked for a lot of reasons: posts are no longer in chronological order, influencers are reportedly being screwed out of money, and now, on top of everything else, Instagram alerts someone when you take a screenshot. Is nothing sacred?! Long gone are the days of snapping pics of your ‘friends’ and then…
People are slamming Bumble for an ‘abusive’ ad campaign involving painting endangered elephants
“No one should even consider climbing on an elephant’s back”
by Nian Hu
Bumble recently launched in India and celebrated with a launch party at City Palace in Jaipur. Instagram posts and stories reveal that the CEO Whiteny Wolfe Herd and various celebrities were in attendance. Several photos of the event show elephants being ridden with the Bumble logo painted on their faces. According to PETA Executive Vice…