The men of Twitter are complaining about how hard it is to live life as a man and…I have to laugh!


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The men of Twitter are complaining about how hard it is to live life as a man and…I have to laugh!

They’re being genuine

Picture this: You're a woman walking alone down a dark street at night, and there is a man following very closely behind you.

A number of thoughts are circling through your head: Can I get to my keys without him noticing? If he seems me grab them, will he jump me? Do you think he's more of the kill-you-and-stuff-your-corpse-in-the-oven type? Or the try-and-sleep-with-you type? Or maybe just a garden variety "hey-beautiful-no?-fuck-you-then-ugly-whore" type!

At the same time, he's thinking: I AM THE VICTIM.

And this is just one example of something the men commenting this Twitter thread about "The down-sides of being a man" have in common. Writer Caitlin Moran started a thread asking men to weigh in on what's plaguing them because really, we don't hear from men enough. Men are really underrepresented in pretty much everything, you know? While there were a few valid complaints about toxic masculinity (though really, we're all victims to that), it was mostly whining about expensive candles, bathrooms, and body hair.

Men. What are the downsides of being a man?

Other downsides include such harrowing things as…."cocks, balls, beards and flatulence." Because girls don't fart!!

Having to sometimes look away from playgrounds

For fear someone might think they are preying on their child. There are so many other places you can look! Just ease her mind this one time, Jesus.

Crossing the street

Walking past women so we aren't afraid of dying

I know, I know. This one sounds like a real inconvenience.

Feeling bad about being a real dickhole to women

It's right up there with being bald and not going to the doctor or washing your asshole because you'll look gay.

Price of razors

Meanwhile, ours are way more expensive than men's, and we're expected to be hairless from the eyebrows down.

Expensive candles


Reassuring women they're not an 'attacker'


Being chivalrous

This was "the only one" he could think of.

Not being able to use women's bathrooms

Want to wait in line for the 20 other women using this ~magical~ toilet first?

Not getting to dance

Being tall

Because I've never met a tall woman!

Not getting flowers

Go buy yourself flowers, Jamie. Who do you think is buying them for us?

Being a walking jar opener

Everyone knows you whack the jar on the side. You're lucky to be getting credit for doing absolutely nothing.

Being blamed for everything

Maybe if you didn't do it in the first place.

Not experiencing female camaraderie

Has this man ever seen a single chick flick? We all hate each other. Meanwhile, it feels like every movie Michael Bay has ever made is about a group of rogue men banding together to save society from a robot snake or whatever. There's always a group of guys in movies like 2 Gun 2 Furious and Gun 5: Enter the Gun.

Missing out on sexy nightwear

Not getting to use the women's locker rooms

So next time a man asks you how your day is going and you think about bringing up the four times you almost cried out of fear for your life — the guy you thought was going to push you in front of a moving subway train, the one you thought was chasing you down the street — pause, think, and then ask him how his day was instead.

He may have had to open a jar for someone.