How to slide into his DMs without seeming like you care too much

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How to slide into his DMs without seeming like you care too much

Of course you care

So there’s a mans you know from class, or through friends, or online but not IRL, and you're wondering how to slide into his DMs so he messages you back, instead of screenshot-ing it and sending it down his frat's GC.

No biggie, we all get crushes. I can see it now: you telling your kids you met their dad by sliding into his DMs on a photo app. It's the next TATBILB.

But sliding into someone's DMs can be tricky, and there are a few things that'll really up your changes of getting a message back.

Make sure your socials are as clear as day

We all goof around on IG from time to time, but if you're about to slide into someone's DMs with the hopes of attracting their attention, make sure you have a solid display picture, and a few really good pics at the top of your grid. This means some photos with friends, too.

P.S. check your tagged photos. That's where all the really embarrassing ones hide, and it's the first place most people look.

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Like a pic or two of his in the days leading up to DMing

Of course only like them if he posted them that day — you do not want to scroll back to 2016 and start liking things — but tossing a like to a new pic reminds him you're there. The more you see someone's name, the more likely you are to think about them. It's a type of positive reinforcement.

Reply to his story but only if you're following one another

This only works if the two of you are already following one another, but if you are, wait until he posts a story you can relate to in some way — a song you like, a bar he's at you've been to before, a question or poll — and use this as a way to strike up a convo about a shared experience. We tend to be into people who are into the same things as us.

Do not ignore him IRL

Sliding into someone's DMs is not weird, but sliding into someone's DMs and then looking at the ground and rushing past when you see them is fucking weird. If you're DMing them it's because you, or one of your friends, knows them. You might see them IRL, and they're going to think you are a freak if you're super forward online but mute in person.

Get your friend to slide into his DMs for you

You don't have to do this, but it's a good option to have. If you have a friend who is closer with this person, have them slide into his DMs and invite him out with you guys. This way you can meet him and give him your number IRL. Just make sure the invite is open and suggests she's sending it to other people, so he doesn't think she is the one who is into him. We use wingmen IRL, so why not online?

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Do not send emojis unless you are under the age of 16

There is nothing, and has never been, anything sexy about emojis. If anything, there's something slightly infantile about sending someone you want to fuck a tiny image of a monkey covering its eyes. Just avoid it at all costs, honestly. And if he starts sending them, run. 🙈

Make it short, sweet and to the point

There's nothing worse than being forced into a conversation you weren't expecting to have. Even if he is pleasantly surprised by your DM, he wasn't expecting to sit down and have a 30 minute convo via messenger. It's the same with texting on dating apps — it's not how you want to get to know a person.

If after a few messages he's being responsive, or even flirty, suggest hanging out in person. Don't make it sound like a date you've pre-planned in your head, but say, "we should hang out sometime, you seem really funny," or something similar. It shows you're interested without seeming desperate.

Back the fuck off

Put the phone down. Once you've made initial contact, you want to back off for a while — you don't want him thinking you're super into online relationships. Besides, distance makes the heart grow fonder, even if you've only spoken once. He'll be stuck worrying about whether he turned you off or made a bad impression. And, the more someone worries, the more they convince themselves they need to hear from you again.

Post something hot

A few days after initial contact, you'll want to post something to draw his attention back. He's already thinking about you, so why not give him the in he needs to like, comment or DM. Just make sure not to be too obvious about it. Posting on your story is your best bet.

It's easier to reply to a story, and it'll look like you're busy getting ready to go out with other people.

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Play it ~cool~

Next time he posts something, don't even like it. Wait for a second photo to drop. And definitely do not slide into his DMs again until he's slid back into yours. If you followed all of my steps he will, and that's when you play it cool. You don't want to seem like you've been waiting for a reply. Maybe even view it and wait a little while to respond.

The longer you let him sweat, the more intrigued he will be.

@carolinephinney

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