Someone made an entire Cuffing Season map so if you’re alone in life, just blame geography
Don’t shoot the messenger
We're officially deep innit with cuffing season, and since nobody has either cuffed me as a girl friend or cuffed me to a bed (and since if/when I finally do get cuffed it's more likely to be by a cop than by an SO), I've decided to venture out in search of excuses. Everyone always says you won't find what you're looking for sitting around on your ass.
You don't want to end up like Halololo ⬇️.
Almohim cuffing season is over and I'm still single and I'm in capitalist north America where Valentine's day is gonna hit me hard and I'll write Akon another lonley
— Halololo (@hallah_t) January 21, 2018
According to this map created by JJ's House, based on geotagged twitter data which tracked more than 100,000 tweets this fall mentioning "cuffing season," the states most likely to get cuffed this fall are Utah, New Mexico, Texas, West Virginia and Alaska. Because we all want a nice West Virginia boy, right?
However, it looks like the states least likely to get cuffed are mostly clustered in the North and North East. Probably because what they say about us being being bitchy and unapproachable is entirely true. So if you are looking to get cuffed up asap, you'll either want to head South West, or find a nice South West boy abroad in your very own hometown.
CUFFING SEASON SPECIAL REPORT: Cuddleboos & Snugglebuddies: Two New Deadly Strains Of The Friend Zone Virus Have Hit North America
— Dart_Adams (@Dart_Adams) August 27, 2013
Just remember, there's more to Twitter data than meets the eye, meaning you'll want to search his account up and down. Because I swear if he's ever tweeted the words “who tryna get cuffed” you do not want to fall for it. He's gonna cheat.
ai so I aint partying anymore who tryna get cuffed
— Dan l Otee ❄️ (@ValeOtee) October 28, 2018
Pack up ladies, this weather is disrespectful. Hoe season is officially over, and it's time to head South.