Q&A: How to actually get over your ex, and in a hurry
Yes, it’s all a game
The game begins when we meet someone and realize they're slightly less into us than we are into them, and it continues until we've secured said person, and are absolutely sure they are invested in us. But it does not stop there as most would lead you to believe, and since most relationships end in breakup, it's only over when one of you moved on first.
Q: Should I text how much I miss him? Or is it better to be like, fuck you I didn't love you anyway
The number one mistake we make when going through a hard breakup is acting out of rage, but it will always, always bite us in the ass. It's the same reason you shouldn't send an email when you're mad, or a text when you're horny. You are not thinking straight! Tomorrow morning, you are going to be kicking yourself for it.
In the first few hours (even days) following a breakup, the most productive thing you can do is put the phone down and avoid contacting them at all costs, no matter how badly you want to hear their voice. It's over. Breathe.
Q: How can I lay a thirst trap to get him back?
Another temptation we face in the days following a breakup is the temptation to make our ex regret what they've done. One way to achieve this (or so we think) is by posting a really hot selfie or thirst trap that'll make them say "Fuck, I really shouldn't have dumped them." But they have (presumably) seen you naked. They know exactly what's going on down there, and they still didn't want it.
Posting something will only bring attention to the fact you desire their eyes on you. Do not fall into the trap. Even if it's an amazing photo, save it for later.
Q: Ok, well can I at least subtweet him?
The same way we're tempted to log into IG after a breakup and post something with them in mind, we might be tempted to tweet something sinister about how we never actually needed them anyway. Doing this not only proves to the other person you aren't over them, but to every single one of your followers.
Q: PLEASE tell me I can block him
Blocking and unfollowing is not only high school, but it is the telltale sign you are not over someone. The only reason you unfollow a person is because you are still so lovesick you can't handle seeing their face on your feed. Instead, just mute them. They won't know you've done it, and if you are still lovesick (which you probably are) it solves your issue of suddenly scrolling past their face.
Q: What do I do if everything reminds me of him?
There's a reason we cling on to clothing from exes, and it's because we hope we'll get back together and have a reason to wear it. But having tons of reminders of the person who left is not only depressing, it's unsettling. It will make it harder to sleep and harder to breathe. If you're certain about holding onto something like an expensive gift, put it in a close you never open.
They are not coming back to collect their things. Give it to one of their friends if you absolutely have to. Give-backs is just another excuse to see someone.
Q: All I want to do it text him, though
People often reach out after breakups, even if they were the one doing the breaking up. It's a way for them to feel okay about the pain they've put you through, and it is entirely selfish. They are not actually curious about how you are doing, they just want to feel good about themselves.
Ignoring them is extra, and again, makes it seem like you care massively. If, and when, they reach out, reply the way you would a casual friend. This will leave them wondering how you have moved on so quickly. A simple "Hey, I'm doing well, thanks sm" is all you need.
Spend time with friends, but leave the phone at home
The only thing worse than an embarrassing drunk text is an embarrassing drunk text to an ex. After a breakup it's good to go out and remind yourself of all the friends you still have, but with friends comes booze, and with booze comes tears. Go light on the drinking for a few weeks if you know you're a sad drunk. Alcohol is an inhibitor, and it makes us feel emotions on a heightened level. When you're sad, you become really sad.
Q: I've heard the best way to get over someone to get with someone else. True or false?
Breaking up with someone sucks, and I am sorry it happened to you. However, using someone else as a crutch, or to make your ex jealous, will certainly only suck more. You are not emotionally available enough to be with this person, so either you'll fall for them and then realize that, or they will realize it first and become angry with you for leading them on. I know sleeping in an empty bed feels weird, but after it stops feeling weird it starts feeling good. Soon, you won't want anyone taking up space.
Q: How can I stop thinking about all of our good times together?
It is so easy to reminisce on the "good times" — the day you went iceskating, all of the dinners, and slow Sundays and hours spent reading side by side. Even some of the rough days now seem ideal — the first time one of you cried in front of the other, the time he totally embarrassed you in front of your family. But do you remember all the fucking SHIT you put up with?!
The 3 am arguments when he couldn't bother to keep his fucking phone on ring but knew you were coming over, the tears spilled over things he kept from you and girls he constantly talked about in front of you. Where there is good there is bad, and you have to choose to remember that, too.
There is nothing that will help you move on faster that realizing what a shit-bag he actually was. And not only will it make you accept the breakup, it might make you glad for it.
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