This is why you only start picking up on someone’s bullshit AFTER you’ve broken up
Your BS detector is broken
My only power — a blessing and a curse — is I can detect bullshit from miles away. Even if I don't know the person, I know they're bullshitting, and this bullshit detector is particularly strong when it comes to friends or sisters and their (less significant) significant others.
However, all these powers turn to shit the moment I am the one settling.
When I'm "in love," my mans can tell me anything he wants. He can tell me that sext he just got was "for the wrong person," he can tell me the girl commenting heart eyes on his most recent IG is his cousin, fuck, he can make out with someone in front of me and tell me they came on to him and I'll eat it all up. The good news is I'm not alone. The bad news is, there's almost nothing we can do about it, because it's s c i e n c e.
Love, respect, and trust your man. ?
— monya ? (@aleyhannn_) October 26, 2018
A 2006 study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology tested subjects on their ability to detect bullshit, and it turned out subjects who were put in a shit mood by watching a sad film were far more likely to pick up on BS than those who were put in a good mood by watching a comedy. Basically, we're way better at detecting lies when we are deeply unhappy.
The reason this is so dangerous in relationships is because often when we are falling for someone — even when these people are abusive, manipulative or otherwise — we convince ourselves we are happy, making it much harder to accept or even see the fact someone is treating us poorly.
Is it just me or do you realize how ugly your ex’s are after you breakup
— Santana Smith (@SantanaSmith__) May 8, 2018
It's the same reason we give great love advice, but we rarely ever take our own: "Don't take him back," "avoid texting for a while," "tell him he upset you," and the list goes on. But when our friends are shackled up with losers, we cannot believe they can't see it. The warning signs are right in front of them and they are just casually ignoring them.
But according to this study they will see them soon enough. It just might take a breakup first.
Yes, it’s possible: Here’s how to stay friends with your exes
Don’t be That Couple
by Caroline Phinney
Personally, I do not condone remaining friends with an ex but occasionally you have no other choice unless you're willing to risk losing all your friends along with them. Maybe you've been dating since high school, maybe your sorority and his frat mixed in college, or maybe your post-college lives are just so deeply intertwined…
You’re in the outback and this kangaroo slaps your girl’s ass. What do you do?
She’s not your girlfriend anymore, mate
by Nian Hu
You (22 M) are in a wonderful relationship with your girlfriend (21 F) of five years. You adore her to pieces and you intend to ask for her hand in marriage soon. She is your light, your universe, your everything. And one day she will be your wife and mother of your children. You take…
How soon is too soon to say ‘I love you,’ and other things you’re definitely stressing over
There are rules, people
by Caroline Phinney
Do you ever remember embarrassing moments from your past and feel an intense full body cringe come on, as if you were back in it, living that exact moment again? Like the time in the 6th grade you told Tyler you had a crush on him, and then he told the entire class you were…